Block of Noise


“I’m going to hang a sign from my window that says MORE NOISE PLEASE or THANK YOU FOR MAKING NOISE.” — Steven Jesse Bernstein

I got a request to do an interview today. It was the Brits, again. Could I go on their talk show via Skype? Sure, I said. A nagging worry entered my head– my house is not good for recording audio. I’ve had issues with this before and the reason is simple– my block is one of the loudest in the world, second only to some areas of Italy.

These noise sources include, but aren’t limited too:

(Low flying) airplanes, babies, basketballs dribbling, bells, bongos, boom boxes, can collectors crunching aluminum cans, car alarms, cats in heat, chainsaws, dozens of kids, dogs barking (probably close to 100), fireworks (or were those gunshots?), gangsters, garbage trucks, gunshots (or were those fireworks?), heavy metal bands, honking, ice cream carts/ trucks, industrial shop vacs, Jehovah’s Witnesses soliciting, large insects, lawnmowers, leaf blowers, loud sex, motorcycles revving, off key singing, sirens, shouting, skateboarders, vomiting, and a somewhat ironic sounding xylophone.

Love you all. Glad you are all alive. Just sometimes wish you would all STFU, especially when I’m being Skyped in to Britannia.

About teakrulos

Freelance writer from Milwaukee, I'm the author of non-fiction books Heroes in the Night, Monster Hunters, Apocalypse Any Day Now and forthcoming Wisconsin Legends & Lore and American Madness. I write a weekly column called "Tea's Weird Week" at

Posted on October 5, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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