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Tea’s Weird Week: Am I Chrissy Teigen?

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Hopefully this will clear up further confusion. That’s me, Tea Krulos, on the right. I mean left! That’s me on the left.

At first, it would appear I don’t have much in common with Chrissy Teigen. Sure, we’re both fabulous. We’ve both starred in magazines, though for her it’s publications like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and I’m more likely to be found in the Fortean Times…um what else– we both like cookies and cocktails and we’re both carbon based lifeforms. But twinsies– I dunno.

Let me explain– my friends at Cult of Weird did me a solid and posted a link to my new book American Madness, with this nice summary:

Conspiracy theories used to be relegated to the fringes of society, people hiding in their basements with tinfoil hats. How did something like QAnon suddenly become mainstream? Infiltrate the deep state with author Tea Krulos in his new book American Madness.

Well said, thank you Cult of Weird. But apparently not appreciated by Cult of QAnon. One of the pro-Q commentators left this stunning revelation:

“Tea Krulos aka Chrissy Teigen.”

Hmmm. I replied: “You busted me, dude. Please don’t tell my husband John Legend.”

Sadly, after being exposed to conspiracy ways of thinking for almost a decade, I think I understand what’s going on here. The main subject of my book, Richard McCaslin, saw symbolism and hidden meaning everywhere, in everything– owls (the Bohemian Club), skulls (Skull & Bones), reptiles (Reptilians), numbers (33 being a Freemason number, for example). Perhaps this person saw my name hidden within Chrissy’s: TEAgen, Ch(K)riulossy–?. I don’t know. I don’t think I even want to know.

Here’s the scary part: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have been bombarded with harrassment by QAnon for years now, accused of being part of the Pizzagate sex trafficking/ cannibalism ring. There were false allegations the names of the famous couple were on the flight logs of Jeffrey Epstein’s “Lolita Express.” At one point Chrissy blocked 1 million people on Twitter (through chain blocking) because she was ruthlessly being attacked.

QAnon followers are well trained to believe that any enemy of Trump is an enemy to them and must be part of some conspiracy. Just over a year ago, Trump, alleged grown man and President of These United States, had a Twitter feud with Chrissy, referring to the couple as “boring musician John Legend and his filthy-mouthed wife.” That’s a rich comment coming from someone who openly brags about assaulting women and rips on “shithole countries.”

Chrissy responded by calling Trump a “pussy ass bitch.” Maybe we are the same person!

QAnon got the conspiracy machine rolling, scrapping together bits of information that they interpreted to build the narrative– Chrissy had tweeted once about a show called Toddlers & Tiaras, a smoking gun that she was a pedophile, according to Q’s followers.

Chrissy’s reaction was featured in an article in Newsweek:

“[I]f I take legal action, it gets worse because then, to them, it’s true and I’m trying to ‘silence’ them. It’s on posts about anything. Random 90 days fan pages, meme accounts, anything. Even if the content is normal, the comments are….this s**t,” Teigen remarked in a tweet thread blasting the “Q” conspiracy theorists.”u know what is not great? I still have to read on social media many times a day that John and I are pedophiles and look at photoshopped/miscaptioned photos of us on ‘Epstein Island’ and I just have to deal with it because ‘people are crazy these days,'” Teigen continued.

Now I can’t speculate what’s going through Chrissy’s head (or can I?) but it certainly must suck to have an insane internet mob harassing you on every post you make about how you’re a satanic pedophile cannibal. And all because these people got into the Q-cult, where beliefs like this are the norm.

Leave Chrissy Teigen alone, you ghouls! And leave my man (oops, I mean her man) John Legend alone, too!

Please Clap Dept.: I got a bunch of American Madness related media this week, including Lake Effect, OnMilwaukee.com, Literary Ashland, Diabolique magazine (and The Rogge Report, which should be out tomorrow) and this appearance on Rising Up with Sonali:

You can order American Madness via Lion’s Tooth, Quimby’s, Bookshop.org, and wherever books are sold.

Tea’s Weird Week: Summer of Conspiracy Theory

TeaWeirdWeek

Tune in here every Friday for Tea’s Weird Week.

Today starts my 3-day vacation, where I’ll be doing nothing but laying in a hammock drinking pina coladas. Just kidding. I will be doing some kicking back at the Moonlight Retreat, but I’ll also be taking a red pen to a couple manuscripts and leading a ghostlore workshop.

Being somewhat in vacation mode (and looking forward to fall), for today’s column I thought it would be appropriate to round up of some stories I’ve studied this summer. I’m working on finishing up a book about conspiracy theory (American Madness) and 2019 has been a helluva year for it. This summer in particular feels like the one where we collectively lost our damn minds. [I included links to further reading.]

Here’s my top 5 Summer of Conspiracy stories:

(1.) Storm Area 51: I wrote about the viral “Storm Area 51” event in this column a few weeks ago. Now there’s going to be a 3-day “Alien Stock” music fest, already drawing comparisons to the disastrous Fyre Festival. As I wrote before, I’ve been through the area and Rachel, the town the fest is happening in, has a population of 58 people, no infrastructure, no shelter, no nothing– the nearest gas station is 50 miles away! Not the best place for an EDM festival. [USA Today]

(2.) QAnon Vigilante: One of my editors sent this article to me and I’m surprised I haven’t seen it more in the news cycle. Francesco “Franky Boy” Cali, who was head of the Gambino crime family and spent most of his life avoiding death, had his ass capped by a vigilante conspiracy theorist named Anthony Comello, inspired by QAnon. I’ll be dissecting the story more in my book. [New York Times]

(3.) Flight of the Flat Earther. After aborting his mission last weekend, Flat Earther and rocketeer “Mad” Mike Hughes is set to blast 5,000 feet into the stratosphere in his homemade rocket tomorrow, which reads “Research Flat Earth” on the side and was funded by a hook-up dating app called Hud. The attempt will be filmed for an upcoming show called Homemade Astronauts for the Science Channel, which sounds fun. At first I was completely confused as to how launching 5,000 feet in the air could prove anything about Flat Earth as we have planes, hot air balloons, and hang gliders that can rise higher than that, but then I realized this is more about publicity. It’s not the journey, it’s how you get there.  [Space.com]

(4.) V is for…Anti-vaxxer? This year’s San Diego Comic Con featured an appearance by a large group of protesters dressed as V, the character from V for Vendetta in a protest appearance made popular by Anonymous. A couple months earlier, the same (or similar) group protested outside of Disneyland for the opening of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, dressed as Star Wars characters. [respectfulinsolence.com]
vforvaccine

(5.) Epstein Suicide Conspiracy. The most interesting news story of the last week for me was the suicide of Jeffrey Epstein. It was just crazy to see conspiracies explode and proliferate online within minutes of his death being reported. Because Epstein had some connection to both Bill Clinton and Donald Trump, the theories were partisan– Trump had him rubbed out or the Clintons had him whacked (to fit the Clinton Body Count theory) or a Deep State cabal did. I even saw theories that Epstein made a getaway, leaving a dead hobo’s body in his place (a theory spread by the band Foster the People, among others, who tweeted “Epstein’s on a private plane to somewhere in the middle east getting prepped for plastic surgery right now”). [NBC News]

Alright, enough conspiracy– I’m off to the Moonlight Retreat. Have a good weekend!

Links

My favorite barbershop is Jose’s. Sad to hear of namesake Jose Ortiz’s death. Here’s an “Off the Cuff” I wrote on him for the Shepherd Express back in 2008, after someone suggested I stop in and talk to him because he was an interesting person. Indeed he was.: https://shepherdexpress.com/arts-and-entertainment/off-the-cuff/barber-extraordinaire

My latest book is Apocalypse Any Day Now: Deep Underground with America’s Doomsday Preppers. You can find it here: www.chicagoreviewpress.com/ApocalypseAnyDayNow

Twitter: @TeaKrulos Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheTeaKrulos