Good morning, and welcome to Tea’s Weird Week. I don’t know what day or time it is, but today I’ve got a special report for you. We’ll start in my kitchen, get some coffee, then move back to my couch. Don’t worry, you can trust me, I’ve got a blog.

Silverware Drawer Report: 9 forks, 9 knives, 12 spoons, 2 corkscrews, 6 rubber spatulas.

Sports News: When I was young, I worked as a cashier at a place called the Brady Street Pharmacy. It was a greasy spoon/ pharmacy counter/ convenience store and other things kind of hard to explain in a sentence. One of the regulars for the diner was a man named Pete. He was a big Italian guy that was always trying to catch his breath, had grey skin, a brown leather jacket, and a sharp widow’s peak, his hair dyed jet black. He looked like a cross between a character on The Sopranos and a vampire.

Pete would come in every evening after dinner and drink coffee. Afterward, he’s pay his $1.75 at the cash register, and talk to me for a few minutes. He would stand there with hands on the counter, leaning on it and trying to catch his breath between sentences. One night he decided that instead of small talk or news-of-the-day, he wanted to tell me about the terrible gambling addiction he used to have. It ruined his life at the time and he “owed money to people you don’t want to owe money to,” he said, shaking his head in shame. He started on horses, but after awhile he was betting on football, baseball, dog races, basketball, car races, tennis…and hockey.

“Let me tell you, that’s when you know you got a problem, when you start betting on hockey games,” Pete told me.

Anyway, this story just popped into my head this morning after I thought “what are sports gambling addicts like Pete doing during all this?”

Entertainment News: Everything is cancelled except sitting in a lawn chair in your backyard or alleyway and drinking Mad Dog 20/20.

My Coffee Cups, Ranked: (by use) 1.) Dali Lama mug 2.) Krampusnacht sticker travel mug 3.) “I Want to Believe” X-Files mug.

Ask the Magic 8-ball: Question: I know that Bill Gates has given over $28 billion to charities, has worked to eradicate polio and global sanitation problems (among other things), but on the other hand, a guy I know on Facebook says that he secretly created COVID-19 so he could add some extra pocket money selling mandatory vaccines that will secretly microchip people and force them to buy and sell with his Microsoft app that is patent number 666– should I believe them?

I Made a YouTube Playlist Dept.: I did– I have an “American Madness” channel that has playlists of videos related to different conspiracies, including a new “COVID-19 Conspiracy Craziness” list I’m adding videos to: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoFCwzjjghaVXSWUwEZx27g/playlists

Sci-fi stuff I’ve binged: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: Universe, Eureka, Doctor Who, The 100, the Alien franchise.

#TrumpConspiracyCounter: Has hit 236. This week, among other things, I talk about the ouster of Trump friends Diamond & Silk, who were too conspiracy crazed for FOX. Yes, you read that right. More here: https://teakrulos.com/2020/04/29/trumpconspiracycounter-236/

“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back