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Tea’s Weird Week: Today’s World (couch) Quarantine Report
Good morning, and welcome to Tea’s Weird Week. I don’t know what day or time it is, but today I’ve got a special report for you. We’ll start in my kitchen, get some coffee, then move back to my couch. Don’t worry, you can trust me, I’ve got a blog.
Silverware Drawer Report: 9 forks, 9 knives, 12 spoons, 2 corkscrews, 6 rubber spatulas.
Sports News: When I was young, I worked as a cashier at a place called the Brady Street Pharmacy. It was a greasy spoon/ pharmacy counter/ convenience store and other things kind of hard to explain in a sentence. One of the regulars for the diner was a man named Pete. He was a big Italian guy that was always trying to catch his breath, had grey skin, a brown leather jacket, and a sharp widow’s peak, his hair dyed jet black. He looked like a cross between a character on The Sopranos and a vampire.
Pete would come in every evening after dinner and drink coffee. Afterward, he’s pay his $1.75 at the cash register, and talk to me for a few minutes. He would stand there with hands on the counter, leaning on it and trying to catch his breath between sentences. One night he decided that instead of small talk or news-of-the-day, he wanted to tell me about the terrible gambling addiction he used to have. It ruined his life at the time and he “owed money to people you don’t want to owe money to,” he said, shaking his head in shame. He started on horses, but after awhile he was betting on football, baseball, dog races, basketball, car races, tennis…and hockey.
“Let me tell you, that’s when you know you got a problem, when you start betting on hockey games,” Pete told me.
Anyway, this story just popped into my head this morning after I thought “what are sports gambling addicts like Pete doing during all this?”
Entertainment News: Everything is cancelled except sitting in a lawn chair in your backyard or alleyway and drinking Mad Dog 20/20.
My Coffee Cups, Ranked: (by use) 1.) Dali Lama mug 2.) Krampusnacht sticker travel mug 3.) “I Want to Believe” X-Files mug.
Ask the Magic 8-ball: Question: I know that Bill Gates has given over $28 billion to charities, has worked to eradicate polio and global sanitation problems (among other things), but on the other hand, a guy I know on Facebook says that he secretly created COVID-19 so he could add some extra pocket money selling mandatory vaccines that will secretly microchip people and force them to buy and sell with his Microsoft app that is patent number 666– should I believe them?
I Made a YouTube Playlist Dept.: I did– I have an “American Madness” channel that has playlists of videos related to different conspiracies, including a new “COVID-19 Conspiracy Craziness” list I’m adding videos to: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoFCwzjjghaVXSWUwEZx27g/playlists
Sci-fi stuff I’ve binged: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: Universe, Eureka, Doctor Who, The 100, the Alien franchise.
#TrumpConspiracyCounter: Has hit 236. This week, among other things, I talk about the ouster of Trump friends Diamond & Silk, who were too conspiracy crazed for FOX. Yes, you read that right. More here: https://teakrulos.com/2020/04/29/trumpconspiracycounter-236/
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
It’s on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52486773-american-madness
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
Tea’s Weird Week: Notes from the Quarantine Journal
UPDATE, April 4: The Wisconsin Historical Society is “collecting history as it happens” with their COVID-19 Journal Project. They compare it to the WHS’s project in 1861, where Civil War soldiers were asked to keep diaries. 150 years later, those journals are still being used to understand history. By signing up for this program, you are not only giving yourself an outlet for your thoughts, but you are contributing to something that future generations can learn from. Your story is important and the WHS is open to written, audio, visual, or artistic documentation. You can find more info and sign up here: https://wisconsinhistory.org/JOURNALPROJECT
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I tried to do a Tea’s Weird Week livestream. It started alright, I talked about my book Apocalypse Any Day Now, but then I was hit with this wave of doubt and angst– who am I to give any kind of advice? and I struggled to say anything other than “gee I sure hope you are all ok out there.” The only thing helpful I think I offered was talking about my quarantine journal or, as I’ve crudely titled it, my “Plague Diary.” It’s been helpful for me and it might be helpful for you.
I found an old notebook and every day I’ve been handwriting some notes. I’ve not been overthinking it– emotions, observations, weird dreams, what I’m reading, watching, doing. I chose to handwrite it because I like the organic look of it– crossed out words, doodles in the corners of the pages. When you have to handwrite instead of letting words fly on a keyboard, you’re choosing more deliberately what you share. It’s also cathartic to scratch out some words pen to paper. But you might journal better on a blog or word doc.
If writing isn’t a way you express yourself, I hope you’re channeling some energy into something you like– music, art, organizing. I know it’s difficult to be creative under financial and other stresses, but try to turn off the news, get off social media, and try to do something that stimulates creation a little bit every day.
I’m not going to share the whole thing, but here’s some excerpts from the first 10 days of my journal.
Friday, March 13 (first entry): National emergency declared. Everything is closing down now, RE: coronavirus, COVID-19. The plague is upon us. Worse than the illness is how people will react– they are panicked, scared. Hyper masses have flooded every store, grabbing as much toliet paper, hand sanitizer, and water bottles as they can carry, leaving the store shelves empty.
Sunday, March 15: Just drank and watched TV.
Monday, March 16: I had a vivid dream last night. My granddad was still alive and I went to visit him. He had a group of elderly friends sitting around his kitchen table (where he always sat) with him. They were having a quarantine party. I had never seen any of the other seniors before. One of them, sitting next to grandpa, was a frail woman with an oxygen tank. Grandpa, usually a big, jolly guy, looked very thin. All of them were happy to see me. Grandpa asked if I wanted to sing “Folsom Prison Blues” with them. I said “sure!” and we all sang. That’s all I remember.
Tuesday, March 17: St. Patrick’s Day– one of the biggest day for bars– and everything is shut down. I pitched and wrote an article for the Shepherd “How local businesses are weathering COVID-19 and ways you can help” but there’s a feeling of hopelessness– this article won’t help anyone one iota, but I need to do something and this is all I can think of at the moment.
Thursday, March 19: Crabby, irritated, sad, frustrated today. Not accomplishing shit. Being lazy in pajamas makes me feel shitty but so does doing anything like household chores. Face it– you lost today.
Saturday, March 21: Well, all of this has made a supply run exciting. Me and Kate cruised to Home Depot, Krispy Kreme Donuts, Target (see above photo of the empty toilet paper aisle), and the liquor store. Now eating tons of food.
Monday, March 23: Gov. Evers is issuing a “Safer at Home” edict telling everyone not involved in “non-essential” business-like groceries, pharmacies, etc., to keep their ass at home. We’re all locked down now to slow the spread of COVID-19. I took a walk to Outpost to look for toilet paper and get a couple things for Kate, but they were out of TP and the bulk section was closed off, so I left empty-handed and felt like a failed hunter-gatherer. But we are ok on food, TP, and sanity right now…
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I’m going to try the livestream thing again with some trivia this Saturday. The categories are cryptozoology, conspiracy theories in the news (based on reports from Tea’s Weird Week over the last two months), cursed or possessed items, and a surprise category. Prizes will include copies of my books and other weird stuff I find in my office.
Tune in here: www.facebook.com/TheTeaKrulos
The #TrumpConspiracyCounter shoots up to 174. I tally it and talk about Trump’s “Deep State Department” theory here: https://teakrulos.com/2020/03/25/trumpconspiracycounter-march-25/
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
Tea’s Weird Week: Notes From the Quarantine, Part 1
What a time– I hope everyone is doing ok and hanging in there. A majority of my friends are artists, musicians, writers, teachers, small business owners, service industry workers or some combination thereof– all hit hard by the COVID-19 quarantine that has shut down daily life as we know it. People are stuck at home, worrying about making ends meet. I’ve also seen some inspiring acts of people caring for each other and supporting each other as a community.
I don’t have anything profound to say other than I’m wishing you all well. This is a crazy crazy time but I know that readers of Tea’s Weird Week are creative and resourceful and we’ll make it through. For this column, I just want to share some stuff I’ve been into the last few days.
Listening:
–I saw this shared somewhere, and this is my favorite new site: Radio Garden. It allows you to drag a cursor around a globe and click on livestreams of radio stations around the world. Listen to broadcasts in Kalamazoo or Amsterdam or Cape Town. I don’t know, there’s just something nice about hearing that other people are out there in the world and hear what they’re currently talking about and rocking out to.
–Feral House (publisher of my upcoming book American Madness) did a podcast episode interviewing Aton Edwards of director of the International Prepardness Network. Insightful with good tips. Listen here: https://feralhouse.podbean.com/e/special-episode-march-14-2020-preparedness-now-pandemic-prep-w-aton-edwards/
–I’ve been listening to the daily CNN podcast Coronavirus: Fact vs Fiction. It’s a short listen with episodes 7-15 minutes in length. Great to listen to while during tasks around the house. If you’ve followed this column you know there is a metric shit ton of misinfo out there, so a dose of factual reporting feels great.
Watching:
I think it’s really cool that everyone from the Dropkick Murphys to the Paris Opera are offering free streaming performances. Lots more of these are popping up, so do some online searching for your favorite artists/ genres and I’m sure you’ll find something. I watched the Murphs live in Boston and enjoyed it. It’s not different than concert video footage, but there was a little bit of excitement that they were live, doing it for their fans, who were watching live with you around the world.
Other virtual events include movie watch parties via Facebook and other platforms and having an online happy hour on-nomi (Japanese: “online drinking”) party on video conferencing sites like Zoom. My friends have been doing this and I can’t wait to join in.
Another way of taking a look at the world while stuck at home is taking a virtual tour of museums. I haven’t checked these out yet, but I will be next week. I’m planning on deliberatly scheduling them like I would normally do something (like write “check out the Lourve, 5pm Tuesday” on my calendar.)
Mental Floss has a listicle of 12 online museum tours here: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/75809/12-world-class-museums-you-can-visit-online
Writing:
This might be a shocker, but I didn’t get into writing to be rich or famous. It’s something I love to do and it’s therapeutic for me. It is sometimes all I got. This is a good time for you to try it out and work on your writing ideas, even if it’s something that never gets published. On Friday the 13th I started a “Plague Diary” in an empty notebook I had stashed away in a desk drawer. I haven’t done much journaling in life (usually too busy chasing someone else’s story) but I thought now was a good time to spend some time each day writing down some of my emotions, thoughts, and anything else that crosses my mind– I had a strange dream that my grandfather was still alive and hosting a quarantine party, for example.
This journaling might lead to something (I’ll probably share some excerpts from the journal in this column in the future), or we might all hit the sunny streets when this is all over and it’ll be forgotten. But it might be of interest to look at this 10, 20 years from now and remember the COVID-19 days of 2020. Writing is my way of making sense of things. For you, it might be creating art or music. I hope you are not spending all of your time worrying and have something to like this to offer some balance.
Reading:
It’s a good time to catch up on your reading list. I’ve got a stack of books I’m cruising through. I also read Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Masque of the Red Death.” Pandemic dystopia reading probably isn’t for everyone at this time, but I like to take a deep dive into things so I’ll be reading more stuff along these lines.
My friends at Lion’s Tooth are doing an online fundraiser toward getting a brick and mortar location and they’re offering pledge levels for receiving a subscription package of cool zines and books. In light of the quarantine, they’re offering to send off your first subscription package right away. I can’t think of anything better than a surprise package of good reading material right now. Check out their Indiegogo for more info here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/support-milwaukee-s-newest-bookstore#/
Here’s links to two of my Tea’s Weird Week reading lists, all titles on them recommended:
Fall Reading List / Winter Reading List (I’m working on a Spring one now).
Of course, I would be poor at self-promotion if I didn’t plug my own books for quarantine reading. I’ve lost some work so buying a book (or buying me a coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TeaKrulos) is very much appreciated. Now is a good time to read Apocalypse Any Day Now: Deep Underground with America’s Doomsday Preppers which talks about prepping and apocalyptic visions and I also have a collection of the Tea’s Weird Week columns I wrote in 2019 as a Kindle e-book ($1.99/ free on Kindle Unlimited) Tea’s Weird Week: 2019 Review.
Stay tuned because tomorrow I’ll be offering a FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY CONTEST here at teakrulos.com for copies of my books!
Conspiracy News
As always, click the highlighted links to see my source material. I’m still following conspiracy theory news (I can’t help it, old habits) and as you can imagine, there is a tidal wave of conspiracy, fear, paranoia, and anger crashing in. (See my last column, “M-M-M-My Corona” for some examples). The COVID-19 shutdown has caused people to snap. Witness the defiant dumbness of Kid Rock, who refused to close his bar or the total Twitter meltdown from former Milwaukee Sheriff David Clarke Jr., who urged people to defy orders to stay home and tied the pandemic to conspiracy boogeyman George Soros.
I’ve seen a couple puzzling posts floating around saying “Anti-vaxxers sure are quiet right now” and “where is Alex Jones in all this?” Umm– no they are not and believe me, he’s as loud and shrill as ever. Alex Jones, along with televangelist Jim Bakker were both ordered to stop trying to sell phony coronavirus cures. Bakker had a bogus silver solution and Jones made the claim that his special Anti-coronavirus toothpaste “kills the whole SARS-corona virus family at point-blank range.” New punk/metal band name: Alex Jones and the Anti-coronavirus Toothpaste Sham.
Celebrity gossip columnist turned QAnon theorist Liz Crokin.
I also discovered the craziest coronavirus conspiracy theorist of all time, Liz Crokin. Crokin used to be a celebrity gossip columnist (her specialty was celebrity breakups) until she had some serious medical issues. Afterward, she became known as a feverish Trump supporter and QAnon advocate. QAnon believes that Trump is secretly working on a program called “The Storm” which will round up a Democrat-Satanic-Pedophile ring. Her recent theories related to the pandemic:
–Coronavirus is a cover story so the military can round up and make mass arrests of the Deep State unnoticed.
–Beloved actor Tom Hanks is an example of this pedophile ring which is why the story leaked that he had COVID-19. (Note: he’s since quickly recovered, so it wasn’t a very good cover story, apparently. But then she said that the virus was real and celebrities like Hanks and Idris Alba were contracting it from drinking adrenochrome.
–She also tweeted “I grow my own cultured mud scrubs in my backyard, but right now it’s probably best to not wash your hands at all- skin mites and oil are all you need to combat this bacteria.” Yick. Thankfully, her Twitter account was suspended.
I think I’ve been on the Internet too long.
Please Clap Dept.: Thank you, Cult of Weird, for including my upcoming book American Madness on this list of “5 Upcoming Weird Books You Can Pre-order Right Now” at: https://www.cultofweird.com/books/upcoming-weird-books-2020/
The #TrumpConsiracyCounter is taking a quarantine break, but will be back next week.
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
teakrulos.com 