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Tea’s Weird Week: Notes From the Quarantine, Part 1

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What a time– I hope everyone is doing ok and hanging in there. A majority of my friends are artists, musicians, writers, teachers, small business owners, service industry workers or some combination thereof– all hit hard by the COVID-19 quarantine that has shut down daily life as we know it. People are stuck at home, worrying about making ends meet. I’ve also seen some inspiring acts of people caring for each other and supporting each other as a community.

I don’t have anything profound to say other than I’m wishing you all well. This is a crazy crazy time but I know that readers of Tea’s Weird Week are creative and resourceful and we’ll make it through. For this column, I just want to share some stuff I’ve been into the last few days.

Listening:

–I saw this shared somewhere, and this is my favorite new site: Radio Garden. It allows you to drag a cursor around a globe and click on livestreams of radio stations around the world. Listen to broadcasts in Kalamazoo or Amsterdam or Cape Town. I don’t know, there’s just something nice about hearing that other people are out there in the world and hear what they’re currently talking about and rocking out to.

–Feral House (publisher of my upcoming book American Madness) did a podcast episode interviewing Aton Edwards of director of the International Prepardness Network. Insightful with good tips. Listen here: https://feralhouse.podbean.com/e/special-episode-march-14-2020-preparedness-now-pandemic-prep-w-aton-edwards/

–I’ve been listening to the daily CNN podcast Coronavirus: Fact vs Fiction. It’s a short listen with episodes 7-15 minutes in length. Great to listen to while during tasks around the house. If you’ve followed this column you know there is a metric shit ton of misinfo out there, so a dose of factual reporting feels great.

Watching:

I think it’s really cool that everyone from the Dropkick Murphys to the Paris Opera are offering free streaming performances. Lots more of these are popping up, so do some online searching for your favorite artists/ genres and I’m sure you’ll find something. I watched the Murphs live in Boston and enjoyed it. It’s not different than concert video footage, but there was a little bit of excitement that they were live, doing it for their fans, who were watching live with you around the world.

Other virtual events include movie watch parties via Facebook and other platforms and having an online happy hour on-nomi (Japanese: “online drinking”) party on video conferencing sites like Zoom. My friends have been doing this and I can’t wait to join in.

Another way of taking a look at the world while stuck at home is taking a virtual tour of museums. I haven’t checked these out yet, but I will be next week. I’m planning on deliberatly scheduling them like I would normally do something (like write “check out the Lourve, 5pm Tuesday” on my calendar.)

Mental Floss has a listicle of 12 online museum tours here: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/75809/12-world-class-museums-you-can-visit-online

Writing:

This might be a shocker, but I didn’t get into writing to be rich or famous. It’s something I love to do and it’s therapeutic for me. It is sometimes all I got. This is a good time for you to try it out and work on your writing ideas, even if it’s something that never gets published. On Friday the 13th I started a “Plague Diary” in an empty notebook I had stashed away in a desk drawer. I haven’t done much journaling in life (usually too busy chasing someone else’s story) but I thought now was a good time to spend some time each day writing down some of my emotions, thoughts, and anything else that crosses my mind– I had a strange dream that my grandfather was still alive and hosting a quarantine party, for example.

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This journaling might lead to something (I’ll probably share some excerpts from the journal in this column in the future), or we might all hit the sunny streets when this is all over and it’ll be forgotten. But it might be of interest to look at this 10, 20 years from now and remember the COVID-19 days of 2020. Writing is my way of making sense of things. For you, it might be creating art or music. I hope you are not spending all of your time worrying and have something to like this to offer some balance.

Reading:

It’s a good time to catch up on your reading list. I’ve got a stack of books I’m cruising through. I also read Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Masque of the Red Death.” Pandemic dystopia reading probably isn’t for everyone at this time, but I like to take a deep dive into things so I’ll be reading more stuff along these lines.

My friends at Lion’s Tooth are doing an online fundraiser toward getting a brick and mortar location and they’re offering pledge levels for receiving a subscription package of cool zines and books. In light of the quarantine, they’re offering to send off your first subscription package right away. I can’t think of anything better than a surprise package of good reading material right now. Check out their Indiegogo for more info here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/support-milwaukee-s-newest-bookstore#/

Here’s links to two of my Tea’s Weird Week reading lists, all titles on them recommended:

Fall Reading List / Winter Reading List (I’m working on a Spring one now).

Of course, I would be poor at self-promotion if I didn’t plug my own books for quarantine reading. I’ve lost some work so buying a book (or buying me a coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TeaKrulos) is very much appreciated. Now is a good time to read Apocalypse Any Day Now: Deep Underground with America’s Doomsday Preppers which talks about prepping and apocalyptic visions and I also have a collection of the Tea’s Weird Week columns I wrote in 2019 as a Kindle e-book ($1.99/ free on Kindle Unlimited) Tea’s Weird Week: 2019 Review.

Stay tuned because tomorrow I’ll be offering a FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY CONTEST here at teakrulos.com for copies of my books!

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Conspiracy News

As always, click the highlighted links to see my source material. I’m still following conspiracy theory news (I can’t help it, old habits) and as you can imagine, there is a tidal wave of conspiracy, fear, paranoia, and anger crashing in. (See my last column, “M-M-M-My Corona” for some examples). The COVID-19 shutdown has caused people to snap. Witness the defiant dumbness of Kid Rock, who refused to close his bar or the total Twitter meltdown from former Milwaukee Sheriff David Clarke Jr., who urged people to defy orders to stay home and tied the pandemic to conspiracy boogeyman George Soros.

I’ve seen a couple puzzling posts floating around saying “Anti-vaxxers sure are quiet right now” and “where is Alex Jones in all this?” Umm– no they are not and believe me, he’s as loud and shrill as ever. Alex Jones, along with televangelist Jim Bakker were both ordered to stop trying to sell phony coronavirus cures. Bakker had a bogus silver solution and Jones made the claim that his special Anti-coronavirus toothpaste “kills the whole SARS-corona virus family at point-blank range.” New punk/metal band name: Alex Jones and the Anti-coronavirus Toothpaste Sham.

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Celebrity gossip columnist turned QAnon theorist Liz Crokin.

I also discovered the craziest coronavirus conspiracy theorist of all time, Liz Crokin. Crokin used to be a celebrity gossip columnist (her specialty was celebrity breakups) until she had some serious medical issues. Afterward, she became known as a feverish Trump supporter and QAnon advocate. QAnon believes that Trump is secretly working on a program called “The Storm” which will round up a Democrat-Satanic-Pedophile ring. Her recent theories related to the pandemic:

–Coronavirus is a cover story so the military can round up and make mass arrests of the Deep State unnoticed.

–Beloved actor Tom Hanks is an example of this pedophile ring which is why the story leaked that he had COVID-19. (Note: he’s since quickly recovered, so it wasn’t a very good cover story, apparently. But then she said that the virus was real and celebrities like Hanks and Idris Alba were contracting it from drinking adrenochrome.

–She also tweeted “I grow my own cultured mud scrubs in my backyard, but right now it’s probably best to not wash your hands at all- skin mites and oil are all you need to combat this bacteria.” Yick. Thankfully, her Twitter account was suspended.

I think I’ve been on the Internet too long.

Please Clap Dept.: Thank you, Cult of Weird, for including my upcoming book American Madness on this list of “5 Upcoming Weird Books You Can Pre-order Right Now” at: https://www.cultofweird.com/books/upcoming-weird-books-2020/

The #TrumpConsiracyCounter is taking a quarantine break, but will be back next week. 

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My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE

Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube

 

Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back

Tea’s Weird Week: M-m-m-my Corona

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I met with my editor for my upcoming book American Madness (out in August) the other day. Among other things, we discussed in-store appearances to promote it. Oh yay, that’s the fun part! After years of quiet, careful work, I get to see your beautiful faces and tell you all about it.

But wait a minute now– as my editor pointed out, we don’t really know where in the world things will be with this coronavirus pandemic. Everything is getting canceled– South by Southwest, Coachella, live studio audiences for TV shows, classes, political rallies, and the entire NBA season. Will we all be locked down in quarantine? Will I be giving a book presentation to a group of people in hazmat suits?

Everyone is suddenly an expert, and the prognosis ranges from apocalyptic plague to just a case of the sniffles. As you can guess, one of my keen interests in all this is the viral spreading of conspiracy theories, which are flying like a sneeze in a hurricane.

Just a rundown– QAnon believes this is either a plot by the Deep State to discredit Trump or, alternately, a cover story initiated by Trump and company to act as cover for them taking out the Deep State as in yeah sure, that evil pedophile Democrat died of coronavirus, wink wink. Meanwhile, Anti-vaxxers are pinning this on go-to conspiracy villain Bill Gates. They say he cooked this up in a lab and the virus is a “false flag” so we all are forced to get mandatory vaccines that contain a brainwashing drugs or microchips. Others say the CIA cooked the virus up as a bio-weapon against China, while British conspiracists say it was invented to stop Brexit. Internet rumor says gargling bleach or ripping lines of cocaine can stop the virus and scammers are trying to cash in with snakeoil products. We are really living in a Rennaissance period of conspiracy theory.

While scrolling through articles on the coronavirus, I was amused to see everyone’s favorite parodist musician “Weird Al” Yankovic get pulled into the discussion. Al’s fans were rallying him to do a parody of The Knack’s 1979 hit “My Sharona” (if you’re a true fan, you know he already has– his early hit “My Bologna.”)

Al responded on Twitter: “Yeah, no, sorry. Not going to do ‘My Corona.'”

I get it. Al’s family-friendly style isn’t suited for making joke songs about a disease that’s quarantined entire countries and has already killed a couple thousand (and counting) people around the world. I don’t want to make light of that either, and I feel really badly for the many small business owners and people in the entertainment industry who struggle to make ends meet to begin with and are now facing financial disaster.

Instead, I’m focusing my parody hit single, “My Corona,” on the conspiracists and con men spreading misinformation for monetary or political gain. I constructed it based on articles I’ve read in the last week or so– click the highlighted lyrics to see the sources. (And if any musicians want to record this, let me know– you might have extra time now that you’re on lockdown.)

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Ooh my little greedy one, my greedy one
Jim Bakker tried to scam some cash, Corona!
that move is total scum but not as dumb
as Anti-vaxxers spreading lies like a rash, Corona!

Coronavirus is creating a fake-news nightmarescape
and check out the kinky gas mask on Matt Gaetz
but now he’s quarantined for my, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Corona!

Cough a little closer, huh, a-will ya, huh?
try not to lose your lunch, Corona!
when you hear Trump say “derp dee duh”
he says it’s based on his “hunch,” Corona!

Democrat hoax, false flag, and Deep State
Mike Pence will pray it away, not so great
Trump says it’s “fake news,” but the fake is yous
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Corona!
M-m-m-my Corona!

Please don’t drink bleach or use cocaine as your treatment plan
and be sure to spend 20 seconds when you wash your h-h-h-hands Corona! Woo! M-m-m-my Corona!

The #TrumpConspiracyCounter has mutated into its own separate post, published the same day as this column. This week we talk about “Nero Trump” and his signaling to QAnon. To read it, scroll down or click here: https://teakrulos.com/2020/03/12/trumpconspiracycounter-march-11/

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My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE

Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube

 

Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back