Category Archives: American Madness
Tea’s Weird Week: Trump is a Goblin Shark
Happy Shark Week to those who celebrate. (Note: Highlighted words=sources.)
I was a real weird kid. When I was around 7 or 8, I asked my dad if he would read entries about U.S. Presidents from a set of Funk & Wagnall’s encyclopedias to me at bedtime. I drew portraits of at least of dozen of the Presidents. Then, as now, I would become a little obsessive about a topic until I felt I had understood it. I’m not sure where the President Phase came from. The Hall of Presidents at Disney World? I think I viewed them as being like superheroes.
A couple years and a few obsessions later, my focus changed to a new topic: sharks. I spent a lot of time reading books and writing my own notes, learning everything I could. I dreamed of cruising around with Jacques Cousteau and becoming the world’s youngest foremost authority on these amazing creatures. One thing I found fascinating about sharks was the wide range of sizes, shapes, and unique features across the seas. There was the beautiful gentle giant, the whale shark; the powerhouse predators like the great white and mako sharks; the elegant, torpedo-like blue shark; the strange, almost extra-terrestrial looking members of the hammerheads and wobbegongs.
The most grotesque shark is the rare deep sea goblin shark (Mitsukurina owstoni). Wikipedia notes that this odd, pink-skinned species has a “flabby body and small fins,” a benthopelagic (bottom feeder) predator, the goblin inhabits a world that U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service reports is “utterly alien and inhospitable to humans.” Doesn’t all this remind you of a certain President of the United States of America?
Trump is a Goblin Shark.
Note the creature’s Pinocchio like snout, symbolic of a liar. There is one thing Trump is good at– lies. Many politicians are, but Trump shoots so many lies out of his blowhole like a firehose that it’s impossible to keep track before you’re blasted away again. Some of the lies are racist, weaponized conspiracies– his bloviating claim that Obama was born in Kenya and couldn’t be president, the whole “they’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs” bullshit. Some lies are feeble attempts at self-preservation, like his claim that he didn’t draw a nudie for Epstein because he’s never “wrote a picture.” And some of the lies are just idiocy, take his story about chatting with his uncle about the Unabomber or his declaration that windmills cause cancer. Those are just a few grains of sand in his murky seabed of lies.
Trump is a Liar of a Goblin Shark.
The goblin shark has a horrific array of needle like teeth, which it uses to chomp on cephalopods. Another toothy animal is the unwitting mascot of one of Trump’s tributes to cruelty, his Alligator Alcatraz concentration camp. This will be looked back at in horror and disgust in future history books (maybe– unless books, education, and empathy are banned).
Trump is a Cold-blooded Goblin Shark.
First they came for the immigrants. But that is only the beginning. Make no mistake, hate and revenge is Trump’s only goal as President. If Trump could (and maybe he’ll succeed) he would fill his gulags with the many people he hates– political opponents (even from his own party), journalists, comedians, lawyers, judges, late night talk show hosts, scientists, professors, musicians… eventually that’ll maybe extend to people who beat Dear Leader at golf. You’re all getting a one-way ticket to El Salvador!
Trump is an Orange-assed Sadistic Dictator Goblin Shark.
Who will stand up to him? Democrats are hiding in the reef. Corporations are out at sea. Maybe his ground base of Christians? Nah, Trump bamboozled them long ago, one of the greatest cons of this or any other century. Trump is not a Christian. He does not know a single Bible verse, only worships greed and power, and embodies all Seven Deadly Sins rolled together in orange dough.
Trump is a Pink Devilfish, the Goddamned Goblin Shark.
Now that I think of it, this comparison is pretty unfair to the goblin shark. Old Gobby is just slowly cruising along in the deep sea looking for squid to snatch as they’ve done for millions of years. Compared to Trump’s soul, this strange fish is a beauty queen… don’t tell that line to Trump, though, he might try to force his way into their dressing room and sexually harass it.
SEE ALSO: Political Monsters: How Presidents Influence Horror Movies reveals the correlation between Trump and killer clown flicks.
“The Jewish Space Laser Bill,” TWW, July 9, 2025.
“You are Geraldo Rivera, high on ecstasy, looking at a UFO in the Bahamas,” TWW, May 20, 2022.
American Madness talks about Trump’s rise to power harnessing conspiracy theories.
Tea’s Weird Week: The Jewish Space Laser Bill
In 2020, the year the conspiracy tsunami broke loose, I had a book published titled American Madness. In it, I got to know an intense conspiracy theorist named Richard McCaslin (also known as the costumed vigilante Phantom Patriot). Richard died in 2018. I still think about that story frequently and how much conspiracy culture has changed since I first met Richard in 2010. Conspiracy is mainstream now. It is the party in power. And now the QAnon Party is writing legislation.
Marjorie Talor Greene aligned with QAnon early on until she realized she should distance herself, but she kept those beliefs moving forward. She recently revealed that she has been “researching weather modification,” and using her new DIY knowledge of climatology, has drafted a bill that would make “altering weather” a felony. She made this announcement right after the deadly flooding in Texas, which some conspiracists have speculated was caused by cloud seeding. Cloud seeding is a real thing, where particles are introduced to certain types of clouds to enhance precipitation. But cloud seeding would not cause precipitation of this magnitude.
Greene didn’t mention that theory or her infamous “Jewish space laser” conspiracy, which suggested wealthy Jews were starting California forest fires with a frickin’ laser, or “chemtrails,” a classic conspiracy that she’s waxed poetic about in the past (she suggested they were the cause of hurricanes Helene and Milton), but that is what’s between the lines. A Deep State weather program being used for nefarious purposes. Ok, sure. Who has it, specifically? Where? Why does the Deep State want to create hurricanes and forest fires? To what end? And isn’t the Republican Party the Deep State now?
“I am introducing a bill that prohibits the injection, release, or dispersion of chemicals or substances into the atmosphere for the express purpose of altering weather, temperature, climate, or sunlight intensity,” MTG says. “It will be a felony offense.” This is some “they’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs” level of ridiculous bullshit, but I predict this is just the beginning. Expect to see legislation regarding Reptilian aliens and an official proclamation that the moon landing was fake in the future. We are quickly hurling ass backwards into the Dark Ages.
If Richard McCaslin was alive today, he’d probably be elected to Congress or a Cabinet position.
By the way, I have a conspiracy MTG and company can look into. Stop me if you’ve heard this one, Marj: Attorney General Pam Bondi tells the press in February that the Epstein File client list is “sitting on my desk right now to review.” Trump hems and haws on Fox & Friends about releasing the files (and more recently scolds a reporter to move on from the story) and then voila the DOJ says there is no list. Kinda strange, huh?
UPDATE (07/10): Why this is dangerous. Much like Richard McCaslin was inspired by Alex Jones or the “Wolverine Watchman” seized on COVID/ election conspiracies to plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, a militia group called “Veterans on Patrol” is “targeting” Oklahoma weather radars over this nonsense: “Anti-Government Militia” Says It’s Targeting Oklahoma Weather Radars.”
And awaaaay we go.
Buy: American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness (2020, Feral House)
Tea’s Weird Week: Who Said It–Phantom Patriot or Marjorie Taylor Greene (Revisited)?
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito was busted flying an American flag upside down (a form of protest to indicate dissent or that the country is in distress) outside his home as well as the “Appeal to Heaven” flag flown by J6ers outside his vacation home.
Don’t worry, Alito. Marjorie Taylor Greene has your back. Fresh off her conspiracy that the FBI was going to assassinate Trump, Greene rambled on X (aka Musk Twitter) about Trump and Alito.
“WE SHOULD ALL BE FLYING THE FLAG UPSIDE DOWN!!!” she concludes.
Hmm, that reminds me of someone. I can’t quite place it. I seem to remember he had a skull for a face. Raided the Bohemian Grove, charged with five felonies. Conspiracy theory ended up taking his life. Oh right, it’s this guy…Richard McCaslin, aka the Phantom Patriot.
About two years ago, I wrote a TWW column titled “Who Said It– Phantom Patriot or Marjorie Taylor Greene?” The quotes I provided were identical in ideology. The only difference– Richard was considered a “crackpot” and “domestic terrorist” while Greene for some reason is a member of Congress.
Read the story of the Phantom Patriot in my book American Madness: https://bookshop.org/p/books/american-madness-the-story-of-the-phantom-patriot-and-how-conspiracy-theories-hijacked-american-consciousness-tea-krulos/12625126
Please Clap Dept.: QWERTYFEST MKE is happening June 21-23. Check out the schedule here: https://www.qwertyfest.com/qwertyfest-2024-schedule.html
Tea’s Weird Week: I’m Going to Talk About my Adventures in Writing at Lion’s Tooth on April 16
My first book, Heroes in the Night: Inside the Real Life Superhero Movement, was published ten years ago. Time flies! That book was followed by Monster Hunters (2015), Apocalypse Any Day Now (2019), American Madness (2020), Wisconsin Legends & Lore (2020), and Brady Street Pharmacy: Stories and Sketches (2021). In April I’ll be publishing a short e-book, Chicago Mothman: A History and Cultural Study of a Monster Case under my own imprint, Tea Set Press.
I work sometimes filling in at the wonderful Lion’s Tooth bookstore and talked with Cris and Shelly, the owners, about setting up a date just to hang out and talk and have all of my books available. I decided it would be fun to talk about some adventures and key moments in my writing career both in authoring books and freelance magazine writing.
It’s going to be happening Sunday, April 16 at Lion’s Tooth, 4-6pm (5pm is when the storytelling starts). I’ll talk about the time I almost got expelled from high school for publishing my own satire newsletter, an assignment to make the White Pages interesting, both times I got pepper sprayed in Seattle, why the British tabloids were calling me early in the morning for awhile, my story that won a Milwaukee Press Club award, and what I’m currently working on.
I’m really looking forward to grabbing a drink from the Lion’s Tooth cafe and telling these stories to you. Some of these are tales I’ve never told publicly. Check out the list of what I’ll be talking about below!
TEA KRULOS: LIVE AT LION’S TOOTH set list
- I Was A Teenage Underground Newsletter Publisher
- Famous Names
- People Fighting and Superheroes and Pepper Spray and…I Don’t Know
- Pepper Sprayed in Seattle Again
- London Calling
- That Time I Went on a Bigfoot Expedition But Saw a UFO Instead
- Doomsday Bunkers of the Rich and Famous Revisited
- An Award-Winning Idea
- The Phantom Patriot Lives
- How One Mothman Led to Another
- Where is My Mind? 2023 Edition
- Loose Bruce Destroyed My First Typewriter
I’m going to try to get to all of those and I’ll answer questions and of course will be glad to sign books. I hope to see you there!
Facebook event page: facebook.com/events/621847019771594
Please Clap Dept.: The documentary I’m a producer on about Kenosha-area horror hosts, I’m Your Host (which won a Milwaukee Film Brico Forward Fund grant) will premiere at the Twisted Dreams Film Festival, Oct. 20-22, 2023.
Follow me on: Substack//Facebook Group//Twitter//Instagram
My latest books are:
Brady Street Pharmacy: Stories and Sketches (2021, VA Press)
American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness (2020, Feral House)
Tea’s Weird Week: Alex Jones in His Own Hell (UPDATED)
I first began to learn about Alex Jones in 2010. Through an odd twist of events, I was introduced to a man named Richard McCaslin, a conspiracy theorist who attempted to raid a club for the rich and powerful in the redwood forest of California called the Bohemian Grove. Richard was the Patient Zero of someone who listened to Jones and took his bloviating seriously. On Jan. 20, 2002, he was arrested in the Bohemian Grove, wearing a superhero costume with a rubber skull mask and heavily armed.
100% of Richard’s decision to go on his raid was from watching a “documentary” Jones had produced called Dark Secrets: Inside Bohemian Grove, which suggested human sacrifice– maybe even children– was happening inside the Grove. It followed the Jones Method– a pinch of truth, a lot of speculation, some far-fetched interpretation, and a scary Satanic, baby-killing, New World Order cabal of those in power. I detailed Richard’s spiral down the rabbit hole and Jones’s influence over him in my book American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked America’s Consciousness. Richard died by suicide in 2018. I believe conspiracy theory is what pushed him over the edge, and the first domino was Alex Jones.
Two things repeated after Richard’s raid– first, Alex Jones and Info Wars would pop up regularly like a bad penny as a motivator in other cases of extremist violence.
To mention just a few: Byron Williams, who had a shootout with California Highway Patrol on I-580 in 2010 and was an avid listener of Jones. He was on his way to shoot up the offices of organizations associated with conspiracy boogeyman George Soros.
In 2011 Oscar Ortega-Hernandez did a drive-by shooting of the White House. He was influenced by the Jones directed “documentary” The Obama Deception.
Starting the year after that, there was a league of Info Wars followers who harassed and sent death threats to Sandy Hook survivors online, by phone, on the street and at their homes as Jones promoted theories that they were “crisis actors.” That’s how a total of $49.3 million was awarded to Sandy Hook parents this week. And that’s just the beginning.
He also promoted Pizzagate conspiracy, which led to a raid of the Comet Ping Pong pizzeria by Edgar Maddison Welch, armed with an AR-15, in 2016. Like Richard McCaslin, Welch was hoping to save human trafficking victims after watching the Pizzagate theory he saw laid out in an Info Wars video.
The second thing that repeated is Jones’s pattern of attempting to weasel out of responsibility every time he incited someone. It started with McCaslin– when asked to comment on his case, Jones said he thought McCaslin “sounded insane,” yet Dark Secrets not only gave McCaslin a clear motivation, but Jones stands outside the Grove at the end of the doc to tell people driving instructions to get there. And on January 6 (he was there as an organizer) he riled the mob up with his bullhorn, but when the shit hit the fan and people started beating cops to death– you guessed it, he tucked tail and ran.
And now, after years of dodging the court for the many cases surrounding his lawsuits from the Sandy Hook families, Jones is finally cornered. What a circus this week has been! Jones is in his own personal hell– trapped in a courtroom confronted with the truth and little chance to bloviate and spin it like he can on his rambling, 4-hour long daily radio show. He actually has to shut up and listen and his words here have real consequences.
The wildest revelation came this week when the attorneys for Sandy Hook parents Neil Heslin and Scarlett Lewis revealed that Jones’s defense had mistakenly sent two years of data off his phone, and that this clearly pointed out that Jones is guilty of multiple counts of perjury. Jones tried to file for a mistrial. The judge said “nah.” Now the January 6 Committee is attempting to get access to that data to see how big his role exactly was in the J6 Q d’etat.
The jury awarded the victims $4.1 million, and then an additional $45.2 million in punitive damages.
That’s a good start, but not enough. A billion dollars isn’t enough.
Here’s what I hope. I hope there’s a string of trials that goes on the rest of his life, where he gets sued over and over– 4 million here, 40 million there– by everyone he’s ever slandered and that he slowly loses all of his ill-gotten money. I hope he has to sit there and hear every one of of his victims give testimony about how he stoked his fanbase to terrorize them, and all the horrible things he’s caused.
I hope it’s long and excruciating- but sadly it’ll never, ever be as painful as what those families and other Jones victims had to go through.
UPDATE, 10/12/2022: After $49.3 in damages at his Texas trial, a Connecticut court found he was responsible for a whopping total of approx 967 MILLION in additional damages today. He’s going to have to sell a lot of his bunk Info Wars Super Male Vitality pills to cover that! Is a billion enough? Nah, what the hell, keep suing him.
My book American Madness can be found here: American Madness : Feral House
They’re also available on these platforms: Spotify//Soundcloud//Google Podcasts//iHeartRadio//PlayerFM//Apple//Stitcher//Pocket Casts
Tea’s Weird Week: Who Said It–Phantom Patriot or Marjorie Taylor Greene?
My book American Madness (2020, Feral House) tells the story of Richard McCaslin, who, inspired by conspiracy peddler Alex Jones, bought an arsenal of weapons, created a costumed persona– the Phantom Patriot (complete with a skull mask) raided a place called the Bohemian Grove in 2002, had a standoff with the cops, and went to jail. He died by suicide in 2018.
Sound crazy? Sure. But is it more so than supporting the armed Q d’etat of the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, in which 5 people died? That’s what Marjorie Taylor Greene (MTG), who represents Georgia in the House of Representatives, has done.
That’s my point of this column– when I originally met Richard in 2010, I thought he was the fringest of the fringe. Now, in the Trump era, I think he was somehow ahead of the curve, the zeitgeist. He was conspiracy hip before it was hip to be hip. Could Richard have been elected to Congress? In 2010 I would have laughed at that idea, but these days I think he’d be a shoo-in if he found the right district. Hey, MTG did it (and it looks likely she’ll win reelection this year).
Richard and MTG have some pretty big differences– Richard always despised Trump, for example, and he was suspicious of QAnon (the cult where MTG got her first boost). I think he was a true believer that wanted to help people by exposing the “Deep State,” while MTG is just a hatemonger. But still, they have similar ideas– they believe 9/11 conspiracy and hate Hillary. I don’t know if Richard would go for the Jewish space laser thing– probably. They’re so similar, that I thought I’d show you six quotes. Who said what? Answers are below.
One) “Bill Gates wants you to eat this fake meat that grows in a [petri dish] so you’ll probably get a little zap inside your body that’ll say ‘No, don’t eat a real cheeseburger, you need to eat the fake burger.’”
Two) “The Illuminati controlled CDC lies to the American public, 24/7. Just look at all the money being made on these shots right now… the microchips will definitely be in those shots. Anyone who refuses to get vaccinated will be ‘quarantined’ indefinitely in a FEMA residential center, a concentration camp.”
Three) “As far as our so-called ‘elected’ officials in Washington DC and California are concerned, the Luciferian Doctrine dictates their motives and actions, not the Constitution!”
Four) On the 2017 Mandalay Bay mass shooting in Las Vegas: “How do you get avid gun owners and people that support the Second Amendment to give up their guns and go along with anti-gun legislation? You make them scared, you make them victims and you change their mindset and then possibly you can pass anti-gun legislation. Is that what happened in Las Vegas? I don’t believe [mass shooter Stephen Paddock] pulled this off all by himself.”
Five) On the same 2017 shooting: “Most of the photos taken inside the hotel room look staged; especially the one supposedly showing Stephen Paddock dead on the floor…Paddock was/is obviously a Project Monarch patsy, who was used by the CIA, to get those 13 suitcases of guns and ammo up to the hotel room. Paddock was a high roller in Vegas, so nobody would question the excessive luggage. The motive for the massacre is simple…more gun restrictions, to effectively disarm the American people.”
Six) “Probably, in about four or five generations, no one will be straight anymore. Everyone will be gay or trans or non-conforming or whatever list of 50 or 60 options, which there are.”
ANSWERS!
One. This is a MJT quote from this week and the inspiration for this column. She said this on her “MTG Live” social media show, though in her exact quote she called it a “peach tree dish,” similarly to her botched attempt to call out “Nancy Pelosi’s gazpacho.” Marjorie Taylor Greene warns of meat grown in a ‘peach tree dish’ while peddling Bill Gates conspiracy (yahoo.com)
Two. Letter to me from Richard, dated Oct. 25, 2010. He was talking about H1N1 and Swine Flu, but mentions there will be a pandemic with mandatory vaccines, an eerie prediction of COVID-19, which he didn’t live to see. He didn’t mention Bill Gates in this, but he did tell me he believed Gates vaccine charity programs in Africa were an attempt at microchipping and/ or genocide for population control.
Three. Letter to me from Richard, dated Dec. 23, 2010. It does sound like a variation on QAnon’s popular “Democrat/elite Satanic baby eating pedophile cabal.”
Four: That’s MJT in a video she posted 4 days after the shooting, on Oct. 5, 2017: (129) Marjorie Taylor Greene video – YouTube
Five: Email to me from Richard, Oct. 6, 2017, the day after MTG posted her video! As you can see, Richard and MJT’s “mass shooter hoax/ false flag” theories were very similar. This is one conspiracy I WISH had a grain of truth to it. When? When will the Deep State take all the guns? For that matter, when will they pass a piece of legislature that will put any sort of reasonable limit on gun purchase whatsoever? I’ve been hearing Obama or someone is “taking the guns” for a solid 14 years now. C’mon, Deep State– do it!
Six: Haaaa, I hope so! Better than a generation of stupid hateful bigots like MTG, who said this. I never heard Richard spout off homophobic shit. And at least he had a cool costume. Marjorie Taylor Greene says straight people will soon be extinct / LGBTQ Nation
Please Clap Dept.: I wrote a feature focusing on commercial fisherman Ken Koyen titled “The Last Fisherman of Washington Island,” for the June issue of Milwaukee Magazine. You can read it here: www.milwaukeemag.com/meet-the-last-fisherman-of-washington-island
Follow me on: Substack//Facebook Group//Twitter//Instagram
My latest books are:
Brady Street Pharmacy: Stories and Sketches (2021, Vegetarian Alcoholic Press)
American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness (2020, Feral House)
Tea’s Weird Week: Jurassic Lark? Are Dinosaur Deniers for Real?
I see there’s another Jurassic Park movie out soon (June 9) to kick off summer blockbuster season, so I thought it was as good a time as any to talk about a special breed of conspiracy theorists sometimes called “dinosaur deniers.” Me and Heidi talked about this on the Tea’s Weird Week podcast after I joined a viral Facebook group called Christians Against Dinosaurs. There were quite a few laughs. The group says that “Big Paleo” is the force of greed that perpetuates the “Dino Lie” to eager “dinophiles” so they can rake in the big money selling phony fossils to museums.
But in scrolling through the group it was really difficult to determine if these people truly held these beliefs or if it was a master class of trolling. And if it was trollcraft, it seemed likely it had inadvertently attracted some people who do believe that dinosaurs never existed.
Their have been legit dinosaur deniers in the past, and the main talking points are either religious– fossils were fakes created by Satan to bolster evolution theories or some such, or are theories cherry picking hoaxes and scientific error.
While working on my book American Madness, Dr. Daniel White of University of Sydney was helpful in explaining the appeal of conspiracy belief. Here’s a quote from him in the book:
“Those ‘selling’ conspiracy theories are better at selling themselves as experts than their mainstream alternatives, as well as what their ‘research’ finds. Science is very self-doubting in its presentation; usually, a finding is put forward as something along the lines of ‘based on our findings we can predicte that the most likely explanation is…however, here are the limitations of our study.'”
Compare that to someone like Alex Jones slamming his fist on a desk screaming about how he has “irrefutable proof” of some “false flag” attack. A lot more confident!
American Madness also took me to the International Flat Earth Conference in Dallas. Although there obviously were some other media types there and maybe a couple of undercover “globehead” (that’s the term for dum dums that believe the world is ball shaped) gawkers, I can say that the majority of the roughly 500 people there were legit Flat Earthers, so dinosaur deniers is not far fetched by comparison.
But there are several examples of conspiracy movement hoaxes. Before the modern wave of Flat Earthers, there was a Canadian group in the 1970s called the Flat Earth Society, based out of Saint Thomas University, a satire group of poets and philosophy students. A more recent example is the Birds Aren’t Real, a group of jokers who say they believe birds are actually government surveillance robots. But these days, things are so fucking nuts, who can tell what is real and what isn’t?!
I read a good article about all this from 2015 titled “Poes, Trolls, and Dinosaur Deniers” for skeptic.com, written by a paleontologist named Dr. Donald Prothero. He warns of Poe’s Law, described in this passage:
This (the Christians Against Dinosaurs group) seems so over the top that it immediately struck me as another example of extreme satire and parody which are so common on the internet. Often referred to as a “Poe,” these satirical pieces are intended to mock the bizarre beliefs of many groups of people from the extreme political and religious fringes. According to RationalWiki, the idea was first coined by Nathan Poe in a 2005 post, and “Poe’s Law” is the “observation that it’s difficult, if not impossible, to distinguish between parodies of fundamentalism or other extreme views and their genuine proponents, since they both seem equally insane.”
He points out solid evidence that the Christian Against Dinosaurs group started, at least, as a joke, with admins tied to other satire sites. Kristin Auclair, who recorded videos for the group talking about dinosaur denial, claims on a post that her videos were “satire,” though like third-rate knock-offs of The Onion, it’s hard to see the satire because of Poe’s Law, which makes it pretty unfunny, in my opinion.
To add to the confusion, Christians Against Dinosaurs encouraged a protest against a Tucson McDonald’s that has a statue of a dinosaur outside it on Tanque Verde Road in August 2020. Someone inside the group encouraged people to call the franchise’s management and a “spokesperson” told the local Patch.com affiliate (one of several local media outlets to pick up the story) that “We’re fed up with everybody acting like the people of Tucson are imbeciles and we want to help.”
This was certainly more trolling, but as Dr. Prothero notes:
We are also in the tricky position demonstrated by all Poes: the crazies out there are so bizarre that it’s often impossible to tell a well-crafted parody from the real thing.
Yes, indeed.
Follow me on: Substack//Facebook Group//Twitter//Instagram
My latest books are:
Brady Street Pharmacy: Stories and Sketches (2021, Vegetarian Alcoholic Press)
American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness (2020, Feral House)
Tea’s Weird Week: Friday Happy Hour w/ Tea @Lion’s Tooth
Tea as in…Tea Krulos. Just a short column this week to tell you that I’ll be hanging out at my favorite store Lion’s Tooth tomorrow (Friday, April 22) from 5-7pm. Lion’s Tooth is an independent bookstore in Milwaukee and they’ve been selling quite a few copies of my last two titles, American Madness (published by Feral House, 2020, and Lion’s Tooth’s bestselling title to date) and Brady Street Pharmacy (VA Press, 2021). When they mentioned they were re-ordering copies, I suggested a simple Happy Hour hangout, so if anyone wanted a signed copy and get one.
It’s been a very long week filled with lots of writing work, so I’ll be glad just to sit at their bar and get a drink. I’ve reached into the Krulos Secret Stash for this happy hour– the first 5 people to stop in and buy a copy of American Madness will get this limited edition of a comic drawn by Richard McCaslin. This features one of his rarely seen autobiographical comics and a special introduction by me. Feral House did a run of these to tie in with book promotion. I’ve got a small stash of extra copies.
Also, the first 2 people to get a copy of Brady Street Pharmacy will get original sketches that appear in the book. I drew these on pieces of scrap paper with a ballpoint pen to pass the time while working at the Pharmacy. These two I’m giving away are of Pharmacy regulars “Filthy McNasty” (there’s a story about him in the book) and “The Pirate” (who is mentioned in brief).
So there ya go– you can support me, a really fantastic independent bookstore and independent publishers and get some rare items. You know I hate clichés, but I really will be saying TGIF tomorrow. Hope to see you there!
Follow me on: Substack//Facebook Group//Twitter//Instagram
My latest books are:
Brady Street Pharmacy: Stories and Sketches (2021, Vegetarian Alcoholic Press)
American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness (2020, Feral House)
Tea’s Weird Week: There Are About 60 QAnon Followers Running for Congress This Year
I regret to inform you that QAnon followers– about 60 of them– are on the campaign trail, hoping to get elected in this year’s midterms. Two years ago, I wrote a similar column in February 2020 titled “There Are Two Dozen Members of QAnon Running for Congress.” That numbered ballooned to about 75 by Election Day. Most all of them lost, but two of them did worm their way in– Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert.
Now, with a Midterm election this year, Media Matters for America has identified 60 QAnon candidate hopefuls running for Congress. They report that of the QAnon candidates, “Twelve are from Florida, nine are from California, six are from Texas, four are from Illinois, three each are from New York, New Jersey, and Arizona, two each are from Nevada, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Tennessee, Oregon, and Ohio, and there is one each from Rhode Island, Virginia, North Carolina, Vermont, Iowa, Alaska, Georgia, and Colorado.”
You can see the full list with evidence of their Q-aligned posts here: Here are the QAnon supporters running for Congress in 2022 | Media Matters for America
Some notable campaigns:
– The aforementioned Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert are running to hold onto their Congress seats in Georgia and Colorado. Over their two years in Congress they’ve been a consistent source of all sorts of attention for being anti-transgender, islamophobic, traitors, dumb, and just straight up psychotic. The latest from Greene is very much in line with her Pizzagate/ QAnon roots– squawking that “any senator voting to confirm [Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to the U.S. Supreme Court] is pro-pedophile just like she is,” following a false QAnon narrative that Judge Jackson was lenient on pedophiles.
– Ron Watkins. Watkins is seen as either being mostly or greatly responsible for spreading QAnon ideas. Watkins, an owner and moderator of the 8chan/8kun message boards (where he was known as CodeMonkeyZ), where Q’s mysterious drops were facilitated, is thought to be Q himself, or at the least someone who helped facilitate whoever it is, or more likely, was part of a collaboration between him and other people. He’s running for US Rep in Arizona’s 2nd Congressional District. SEE ALSO: HBO documentary Q: Into the Storm.
Those are the three most famous campaigns for this year. But what might be more dangerous is the lesser known, unwatched campaigns. After Marjorie Taylor Greene won her primary in a deep red district, I wrote a follow up column titled “Well, it Happened- Meet Your First QAnon Congressional Representative,” in which I said:
“I can’t help but feel that a terrible door has been opened with Greene. It’s tempting to downplay her win– she’s just 1 of 435 members of the House of Representatives, but what is going to follow? An entire QAnon caucus? A task force to investigate Democrats for imprisoning “mole children?” A Flat Earth Party? It seems like any batshit crazy bad idea is possible right now.”
Sadly, I still don’t think that’s far-fetched. Please be sure to vote!
Please Clap Dept.: The TWW podcast is on spring break, but I was guest for a second time on the great Fascinating Nouns podcast. You can check it out here: fascinatingnouns.com/tea-krulos
My book American Madness can be bought at: Lion’s Tooth//Bookshop.org//Amazon
And please rate/ review on Goodreads, Amazon, and/or share on social media. I appreciate the support.
Tea’s Weird Week: Phantom Patriot Featured in New Primus “Conspiranoia” Video
Primus has released their first new track in 5 years. It’s titled “Conspiranoia,” and it has some connections to my book American Madness. My book is about Richard McCaslin, who styled himself as a conspiracy commando called the Phantom Patriot. Inspired by Alex Jones, McCaslin fashioned himself a superhero costume and heavily armed himself. He raided a place in the forests of North California called the Bohemian Grove in 2002. Conspiracy says that the world’s most rich and powerful men sacrifice people in a Satanic ritual in front of a giant statue of an owl within the Grove. Richard had a standoff with the police and was arrested.
Les Claypool, bassist and singer for Primus, has a ranch close to the Grove in Occidental, California. Richard’s arrest did not become a huge story, but it was picked up by a couple of California newspapers. Claypool, who read the news stories and was inspired to write a song titled “Phantom Patriot,” which appeared on his solo 2006 album Of Whales and Woe album.
I thought it would be pretty great if I could interview Claypool about this, so I doggedly emailed his talent agency until they agreed to set up a short phone interview with him. He was understandably nervous talking about Richard (“is this a stable individual, would you say?” was the first thing he said to me), as he didn’t want to face violent retaliation. Richard originally liked the “Phantom Patriot” song (he described it as a “modern day folksong”) but, like everything, it soon entered the web of the conspiracy when he saw symbolism in the accompanying video (which, Claypool explained to me, had nothing to do with him– it was just a piece of animation that paired nicely with the track). Richard took his own life in 2018.
When I saw the title of the new Primus song, I remembered a quote from Claypool, which appears on page 98 of American Madness, where Claypool describes the Bohemian Grove:
“…there’s all this mystery of what happens in the Grove with the Bohemian Club, it’s a collection of the elite as well as a bunch of artists,” Claypool explained. “Actually, my old music teacher was a trombonist for the Bohemian Club way back in the day. But there is this mystery, and a bit of conspiranoia as to what goes on there and some of it is fairly extreme.”
After American Madness came out, I did try to email Claypool’s talent agency a couple times to get a copy of the book to him, but got no reply. Les, if you’re reading this, I’d love to send you a book. But maybe he ended up reading it anyhow…
When I saw the link to the video, I set aside 11 minutes 38 seconds to give it a good look. I really love it, it’s a great prog rock that sails the seas of cheese of an epic subject– the ridiculous but sad Conspiracy World.
We meet Lloyd Boyd, conspiranoid who launches himself into the sky in a lawn chair to prove the earth is flat. Ridiculous, huh? Well, no, a Flat Earther named “Mad Mike” Hughes did die in 2020 after launching himself into the skies above Barstow with a rocket for the same goal. What about Marion Barrion, contrarian, who puts cat urine in her eyes, garlic cloves in her nose, and taping dryer sheets to her head to ward off COVID? Not far fetched at all, especially considering the President of the United States of America recommended injecting bleach. That’s the real problem– not the Lloyd Boyds and the Marion Barrions with their tin foil hats, but the people like Trump and Alex Jones who exploit and profit off of their mentalities.
The video goes into a beautiful tapestry of conspiracy classics– Bigfoot, black helicopters, chemtrails, and gay frogs. Many of these topics are discussed in American Madness. My eyes widened at the 4:21 mark, where we see a quick flash of the Great Owl of Bohemia statue in the Grove.
At the 6:23 there is great conspiracy mega-list– some real, some invented for comic effect, some– who knows? It’s hard to tell what are real beliefs and what are jokes these days. Different images flash on rows of TVs, and then at the 8:45 mark, there he is– the Phantom Patriot (same photo as above). Personally, I’m thrilled to see the Phantom Patriot acknowledged. Richard, however, would have dismissed this as some kind of government psy-op program to hide the truth, part of the mass web of conspiracy orchestrated against him. Here’s the video:
I’ll give Primus the last word on this one: “Be wary of conspiranoia/ as purveyors, abound/ for an open mind too open/ spills its contents on the ground.” I couldn’t agree more. That describes exactly what happened to Richard McCaslin.
American Madness is currently being developed into a documentary and this month director Eric Hayden is filming a recreation of the Phantom Patriot’s raid into the Bohemian Grove. I’ve seen pictures of the recreation of Richard’s costume and it is a spot on duplication, down to the last stitch. I’m very excited to see his final footage.
Here is my request, if you’re reading this. Buy a copy of American Madness: Lion’s Tooth//Bookshop.org//Amazon
And please rate/ review on Goodreads, Amazon, and/or share on social media. I appreciate the support.
SEE ALSO: I wrote about the Bohemian Grove shutting down their summer encampment for the first time in 142 years (because of COVID) here: Tea’s Weird Week: Summer Plans are Canceled for the New World Order | (teakrulos.com)
Please Clap Dept.: My article from the March Milwaukee Magazine, “Visibly Indigenous,” is now online. It was a great honor to write: How Milwaukee’s Native Community Is Working to Be Un-Erased (milwaukeemag.com)
Tea’s Weird Week, S4 ep10: The Big French Fry Perfume Beaver Fever Tiger Nuggets Corpse DJ Oregon Trail Charles Darwin Diary Mystery Finale: Me and Heidi talk weird news, trivia answers, closing track by The LOL, “Six Feet Under the Dance Floor.” Fun times!
Listen here: Tea’s Weird Week S4 ep10: The Big French Fry Perfume Beaver Fever Tiger Nuggets Corpse DJ Oregon Trail Charles Darwin Diary Mystery Finale (podbean.com)
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