“You get what anybody gets– you get a lifetime,” Neil Gaiman, Sandman
“But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t wanna live forever,” Motörhead, “The Ace of Spades”
I recently got a nice review for my book Apocalypse Any Day Now in the Lexington Dispatch. But listen to how this reviewer describes me: “a middle aged freelance journalist from Wisconsin.” Middle aged? Ahhh shit. Well, I guess it’s true, because in just a few days, it’ll be my 43rd birthday. But what if this wasn’t middle age for me?
Learning about something new, fringe, and strange is one of my favorite things, so it was jackpot time when I found out that local legend Kristan T. Harris is a candidate for the U.S. Transhumanist Party. The party’s main platform is to extend human life by hundreds and thousands of years, with the eventual goal of eternal life.
I wrote an article on Harris’s campaign for Milwaukee Record, in an article published today: “Long Live Candidate Harris, Milwaukee’s U.S. Transhumanist Party presidential hopeful.”
I think the ideas put forth by U.S. Transhumanist Party are interesting and I certainly love to see new alternative political parties. In fact, I took the ten seconds it takes to join the party by Google form here: https://transhumanist-party.org/membership/
Despite that, I don’t really subscribe to the party’s main platform. Here’s the thing– I don’t want to extend my life by hundreds or thousands or infinite years. Hellllll no. I am way too tired of your bullshit to have to deal with it for a millennium. I was young, I am apparently now middle aged, I will (hopefully) get old and then I will die. I’m totally fine with that timeline and I’m not afraid of it.
I’ve seen brilliant, beautiful people die way sooner than they should have while rotten jerks seem to live on forever. Do you really want some piece of shit who gets away with beating his wife and kids and makes life miserable for his family, co-workers, and the general public to celebrate his 600th birthday?
I also don’t feel life extension would be in the top ten issues we are facing today. Who wants to live forever on a planet where the environment is being completely destroyed, our oceans are filled with garbage, climate is spiraling out of control, children are locked up in cages on the border, and we have a killer clown as President?
That being said, good luck to Candidate Harris and the Transhumanist Party. Their online presidential primary starts on Sept. 21: www.transhumanist-party.org
I’m going to be at the Old Baraboo Inn for the World’s Largest Ghost Hunt on Sept.28, where I’ll be talking about the ghost of Al Capone!: https://www.facebook.com/events/379959039385127/