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Tea’s Weird Week: American Madness Book Trailer!
Today is the premiere of a book trailer for my upcoming book American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness (out August 25 from Feral House). This writing has been quite a fascinating and crazy journey for me. It started with my interest in documenting the life story of an eccentric individual named Richard McCaslin, whose life was a winding path through comic book superheroes, conspiracy theory, and the pursuit of a skewed American dream. The story evolved into something much bigger and now, in this insane year 2020, I can’t help but think the publication date is perfect timing.
Many of the people I wrote about in American Madness— Alex Jones, David Icke, QAnon, Anti-vaxxers, Roger Stone, and, of course, the “InfoWars President” himself, Donald Trump (and his Obama conspiracy obsession)– have all been in the news this year.
Here’s a quick peek at the world I entered:
American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness by Tea Krulos from Feral House on Vimeo.Big thanks to all involved in helping me create the video! Lyle Blackburn lent his voice to narrate the trailer. Lyle is an all around cool guy– he narrates the Small Town Monsters documentary series, is in a cool band called Ghoultown, and has written several books on Southern cryptozoology case studies, his latest being the upcoming Sinister Swamps: Monsters and Mysteries from the Mire.
Android138 provided music for the soundtrack, I knew his creeping horror style, which he calls “#DoomBap” would be perfect– listen to more to his tracks and slip into a paranoid conspiracy world of your own on his Soundcloud page. Stephen Vincent Anderson is my wonderfully creative friend who it all together, check out SVA Photo & Video on Facebook and Vimeo.
Thanks to my publisher Feral House and to Milwaukee Record and Cult of Weird for sharing the video.
Here’s 4 ways you can help me make this book a success:
-Pre-order the book. My preferred pre-order link for you is: https://bookshop.org/books/american-madness-the-story-of-the-phantom-patriot-and-how-conspiracy-theories-hijacked-american-consciousness/9781627310963 (you can also pre-order from Boswell Book Company and on Indiebound, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other sites)
-Add the book to your shelf on Goodreads.
-Share the book trailer, pre-order link, or this blog post on social media. “Word of mouth” is helpful.
-Most libraries are receptive to suggestions on new books and many have a “material request form” on their website.
Here’s more book info:
American Madness: The Story of The Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness will be out August 25, 2020 from Feral House.
The mainstream news media struggles to understand the power of social media while conspiracy advocates, malicious political movements, and even foreign governments have long understood how to harness the power of fear and the fear of power into lucrative outlets for outrage and money. But what happens when the harbingers of “inside knowledge” go too far?
Author Tea Krulos tells the story of one man, Richard McCaslin, who’s fractured thinking made him the ideal consumer of even the most arcane of conspiracy theories. Acting on the daily rants of Alex Jones and his ilk, McCaslin takes matters into his own hands to stop the unseen powers behind the world’s disasters who congregate at conspiracy world’s Mecca- The Bohemian Grove. It all goes wrong with terrible consequences for the man who styled himself-The Phantom Patriot.
McCaslin is not alone, as conspiracy-driven political action has bubbled its way up from the margins of society to the White House. It’s no longer a lone deranged kook convinced of getting secret messages from a cereal box, now its slick videos and well-funded outrage campaigns ready to peddle the latest innuendos and lies in hopes of harnessing the chaos for political gain. What is the long term effect on people who believe these barely believable stories? Who benefits, and who pays the price? Krulos investigates and explains the power of conspiracy and the resulting shared madness on the American psyche.
Tea Krulos is a Milwaukee-based writer who documents the underground world of fringe sub-cultures. His previous books, Apocalypse Any Day Now: Deep Underground with America’s Doomsday Preppers and Heroes in the Night: Inside the Real Life Super Hero Movement explored the driving beliefs and lives of the people who choose to reject accepted reality and substitute their own.
Tea’s Weird Week: Trump Inspired QAnon Followers, Proud Boys, Gun Nuts, Racists, all Have 2020 Campaigns
THE WORST PEOPLE RUNNING IN 2020, RANKED
I’m taking a break from examining COVID-19 conspiracy theories, which are proliferating stronger than ever with the circulation of a documentary titled Plandemic this week. I want to talk about something approaching on the horizon– the 2020 elections. In addition to deciding whether Trump will be in office another 4 years, there are a number of campaigns that are disturbing. Racists, “men’s rights” activists, hardcore conspiracy believers, and uh…people raffling off AR-15s are all throwing their hat into the ring year. The chance, no matter how thin, that any of these people could be elected into public office is sad and frightening. Personally, it’s inspired me to never miss a local election, no matter how mundane. Here then is a countdown of 8 groups or individuals running for office.
8.) QAnon, conspiracy cult with candidates in 17 states
First, let’s check in on the story of QAnon followers running for office. QAnon is a conspiracy cult that believes there is a satanic-pedophile-Deep State ring of Trump enemies– Democrats, intelligence agencies, “Lamestream media,” etc. and that Trump has a plan called “The Storm” that will round them all up and arrest them.
QAnon has been in the news a lot lately for violent, frightening activity. A mother arming herself and kidnapping her children (she didn’t have custody) and a woman who drove to New York with a dozen knives, ranting about how she was going to kill Joe Biden, are just a couple of the most recent ones. The recent failed coup attempt in Venezuela strangely included a mercenary who was into QAnon. These are strange times.
On February 13, I wrote a column titled “There Are Two Dozen Members of QAnon Running for Congress” about the disturbing news that QAnon followers were running for office across the country.
Bad news: the number of QAnon campaigns jumped from 24 to 39. More bad news: QAnon has created their own super PAC to support these candidates, called “Disarm the Deep State.” Kinda good news: After some of the recent elections, 15 of the candidates have dropped out or lost primaries. That means 24 still remain, including some who have advanced to be on ballots in California (7 out, 3 still in) and Texas (1 out of 5 still in).
You can find a regularly updated list of all QAnon candidates by Media Matters for America here: “Here are the QAnon supporters running for Congress in 2020.”
DeAnna Lorraine lost in the California primary but is still retweeted regularly by Trump.
7.) Paul Broun, Gun Nut, Georgia’s 9th District [UPDATE: lost in June 9 primary]
Sign up for e-mail updates, possibly WIN a free AR-15! (must be at least 17 to enter)! ‘Merica! Trying to take advantage of pandemic fears, Paul Broun, running for Congress in Georgia’s 9th district, released a cartoonishly bad fearmongering campaign ad. As New York magazine reports:
That’s right: Dr. Broun’s campaign is giving away an assault rifle (a.k.a. a “Liberty Machine”) to a lucky correspondent eager to repulse “looting hordes from Atlanta” (e.g., black people) or “tyrannical government from Washington” (an epithet that worked better when that Kenyan Muslim was president).
Bonus point: he also believes evolution theories he was taught are “lies straight from hell.” Here is Broun’s “Liberty machine giveaway” ad:
6.) Arthur Jones, Literal Nazi, Illinois’ 3rd District (LOST IN PRIMARY)
Art Jones, I’m sad to say, is a product of my home state of Wisconsin (Beloit). He’s a former American Nazi Party leader, holocaust denier, and perennial attention seeker that has run for office many times since 1976, campaigning as candidate for mayor of Milwaukee, mayor of Chicago, Chicago City Council, and Congress. Jones was a fan of Trump and voted for him in 2016, though he later said he regretted it as Trump “surrounded himself with hordes of Jews.” He was one of several white supremacists who ran for office in 2018 and ran unopposed in the Republican Party in Illinois’ 3rd congressional district. He lost to his Democrat rival, but got almost 58,000 votes.
Embarrassed Republicans put in an effort to squash his candidacy with a “Say No to the Nazi” campaign this year and he came in last in the March 17 primary. Even though he lost, I wanted to mention his campaign to point out that he still managed to get 1,637 votes– that means there are either 1,637 people in Illinois’ 3rd District who have no idea who they are voting for OR are just totally cool with a Nazi representing them.
Arthur Jones, Nazi, at a 2016 rally. Photo: https://www.flickr.com/photos/weaverphoto/29683766898
5.) Matt Gaetz, gasmask enthusiast, U.S. House of Represenatives, Florida’s 1st District
GQ calls him the “Trumpiest Congressman in Trump’s Washington.” Here’s a quick few things about Matt Gaetz– in 2017 he crowdsourced a house resolution that “primarily used content from /r/The_Donald, ‘a pro-Trump subreddit notorious for both its embrace of conspiracy theories and its gleeful offensiveness.'” In 2018 he invited an Alt-Right holocaust denier to Trump’s State of the Union address. In 2019, he tried to intimidate a witness, Trump’s former attorney, Michael Cohen. His most recent controversy was wearing a gas mask on the floor of the House as an apparent mockery to “fake news” about COVID-19. Not long after he was placed under quarantine when it was determined he had been in contact with a COVID-positive attendee of the Conservative Political Action Conference.
4.) “Sheriff Joe” Arpaio, Concentration Camp creator, Maricopa County Sheriff
Joe Arpaio’s legacy will be of racially profiling to fill up his “Tent City,” an outdoor detention facility he proudly compared to a “concentration camp,” where immigrants are kept in a furnace-like tent that “could reach up to 141 degrees,” according to the ACLU. Women prisoners were “denied basic sanitary items,” and prisoners were forced into solitary confinement and chain gang work. He’s had dozens of lawsuits related to abuse of power over the years. He lost re-election in 2016. His racial profiling led him to be convicted of criminal contempt of court in 2017, but Trump, a big fan (Sheriff Joe was a huge supporter of the racist Birther conspiracy theory and Trump’s border wall) pardoned him. This year Sheriff Joe is trying to get his old job back. The Phoenix New-Times reports he has so far outraised all other candidates, most of it from out-of-state donors.
“I’m in this to win,” Arpaio saus, according to Phoenix New-Times. “I’m not taking any prisoners. My posse that I started years and years ago is coming back. A lot of things are coming back.”
Joe Arpaio (right) with Ted Nugent.
3.) Enrique Tarrio, Proud Boys chairman, Florida’s 27th District and Nick Ochs, leader of Hawaii Proud Boys, Hawaii’s State Rep for District 22 (Honolulu).
The Proud Boys are an Alt-Right group that are racist, homophobic, sexist, just all around pro-toxic masculinity. Just take a look at the group’s initiation process. From Wikipedia:
The first stage is a loyalty oath, on the order of “I’m a proud Western chauvinist, I refuse to apologize for creating the modern world”; the second is getting punched until the person recites pop culture trivia, such as the names of five breakfast cereals; the third is getting a tattoo and agreeing to not masturbate; and the fourth is getting into a major fight “for the cause.”
The group has a history of showing up to cause violence at protests, and were present as part of the Alt-Right coalition at Charlottesville. Most recently, they’ve been using the anti-lockdown protests as rallying points.
Enrique Tarrio is the chairman of the Proud Boys and is running for Congress is Florida’s 27th District (Miami area). A second Proud Boy, Nick Ochs, who leads the Proud Boys chapter in Hawaii, is running for State Representative in District 22 (Honolulu).
Enrique Tarrio, front and center, leading a Proud Boys march in Portland, OR. Photo via tarrio2020.com
2.) Laura Loomer, “social media martyr turned Trumptastic tribute*”, Florida’s 21st Congressional District
Laura Loomer is a “political stuntwoman” who got her start working with Project Veritas, and specializes in crashing events to grab attention for herself. Her first famous stunt was disrupting a Shakespeare in the Park performance of Julius Caesar in 2017. The play featured a Caesar that looked like Donald Trump and Loomer got onstage and started shouting about political violence.
She grabbed the mic at a women’s march in 2019 and told the marchers that they were “Nazis,” and filmed herself and others dressed in sombreros and fake mustaches trespassing onto Gov. Newson’s property as some kind of statement on immigration, among many other similar stunts as well as ambush “journalism” confronting targets in public. She calls this “Loomering” someone. She’s supported by InfoWars and has promoted “false flag” theories about mass shootings, suggesting they were orchestrated to produce outrage to repeal the 2nd Amendment.
Racist comments led Loomer to be banned on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, PayPal, Venmo, GoFundMe, Medium, Lyft, Uber, and UberEats. The latter ride service bans came from Islamophobic comments about cab drivers. After she was banned from Twitter, she handcuffed herself to the social media giant’s front door.
One reason Loomer ranked so high on this list is that her campaign is picking up steam– she’s already raised over $600,000, more than her eight Republican primary candidates combined, making it likely she’ll be taking on the Democrat incumbent of the district she’s running in. An endorsement of her was retweeted by Trump. Speaking of…
*”Laura Loomer is the Congresswoman Donald Trump Deserves,” The Bulwark
Photograph by Evy Mages/ https://www.washingtonian.com/2019/05/15/dc-businesses-its-perfectly-legal-to-refuse-to-host-an-alt-right-pool-party/
1.) Donald J. Trump, unhinged conspiracy promoter, President of the United States
Let’s not forget who made all this possible. Trump’s constant entertainment of conspiracy ideas paved the way for most of the people on this list. He retweets QAnon believers and an array of other conspiracy pushers, shares disinformation from sites like Breitbart News, and stokes the fires of racism, hate, and paranoia. Anything that damages his massive ego is attacked as “fake news,” with journalists labelled as “the enemy of the people.” As we’ve seen, he is exactly the type of person you don’t want in the face of a pandemic as COVID conspiracy belief has reached dangerous levels. Don’t let the dystopia continue– vote Trump out and shut down his army of delusional, hate-filled, backward thinking proteges.
Rather than admitting he was wrong about a hurricane trajectory, Trump shows a map modified with a Sharpie. Photo: Michael Reynolds/EPA, via Shutterstock
A couple observations:
-All of the candidates on this list are/were running as Republicans.
-What in the fuck is going on in Florida, especially Districts 21 and 22? Between the two there are 5 QAnon candidates and Laura Loomer. The districts include Palm Beach, Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale, Pompano Beach, and most relevant– Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, so perhaps the proximity to Trump?
-Good luck, human race. And don’t forget to vote. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Check your local elections and take a look at who is running– you might be unpleasantly surprised.
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
It’s on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52486773-american-madness
Follow me on:
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“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
Tea’s Weird Week: Today’s World (couch) Quarantine Report
Good morning, and welcome to Tea’s Weird Week. I don’t know what day or time it is, but today I’ve got a special report for you. We’ll start in my kitchen, get some coffee, then move back to my couch. Don’t worry, you can trust me, I’ve got a blog.
Silverware Drawer Report: 9 forks, 9 knives, 12 spoons, 2 corkscrews, 6 rubber spatulas.
Sports News: When I was young, I worked as a cashier at a place called the Brady Street Pharmacy. It was a greasy spoon/ pharmacy counter/ convenience store and other things kind of hard to explain in a sentence. One of the regulars for the diner was a man named Pete. He was a big Italian guy that was always trying to catch his breath, had grey skin, a brown leather jacket, and a sharp widow’s peak, his hair dyed jet black. He looked like a cross between a character on The Sopranos and a vampire.
Pete would come in every evening after dinner and drink coffee. Afterward, he’s pay his $1.75 at the cash register, and talk to me for a few minutes. He would stand there with hands on the counter, leaning on it and trying to catch his breath between sentences. One night he decided that instead of small talk or news-of-the-day, he wanted to tell me about the terrible gambling addiction he used to have. It ruined his life at the time and he “owed money to people you don’t want to owe money to,” he said, shaking his head in shame. He started on horses, but after awhile he was betting on football, baseball, dog races, basketball, car races, tennis…and hockey.
“Let me tell you, that’s when you know you got a problem, when you start betting on hockey games,” Pete told me.
Anyway, this story just popped into my head this morning after I thought “what are sports gambling addicts like Pete doing during all this?”
Entertainment News: Everything is cancelled except sitting in a lawn chair in your backyard or alleyway and drinking Mad Dog 20/20.
My Coffee Cups, Ranked: (by use) 1.) Dali Lama mug 2.) Krampusnacht sticker travel mug 3.) “I Want to Believe” X-Files mug.
Ask the Magic 8-ball: Question: I know that Bill Gates has given over $28 billion to charities, has worked to eradicate polio and global sanitation problems (among other things), but on the other hand, a guy I know on Facebook says that he secretly created COVID-19 so he could add some extra pocket money selling mandatory vaccines that will secretly microchip people and force them to buy and sell with his Microsoft app that is patent number 666– should I believe them?
I Made a YouTube Playlist Dept.: I did– I have an “American Madness” channel that has playlists of videos related to different conspiracies, including a new “COVID-19 Conspiracy Craziness” list I’m adding videos to: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoFCwzjjghaVXSWUwEZx27g/playlists
Sci-fi stuff I’ve binged: Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: Universe, Eureka, Doctor Who, The 100, the Alien franchise.
#TrumpConspiracyCounter: Has hit 236. This week, among other things, I talk about the ouster of Trump friends Diamond & Silk, who were too conspiracy crazed for FOX. Yes, you read that right. More here: https://teakrulos.com/2020/04/29/trumpconspiracycounter-236/
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
It’s on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52486773-american-madness
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
#TrumpConspiracyCounter: 236
Trump’s tweet binges drift between trying to seem “presidential”– a stream of retweets from the CDC or endorsements of fellow Republicans, but he can rarely make it a couple of days without an off the rails blast about enemies not being happy about the number of ventilators being produced or the “lamestream media” and their “Noble Prizes.” In one of his most famous moments this month, he talked about combating coronavirus by UV lights or by injecting disinfectants (seems he might have picked this up from a “church” called Genesis II as a miracle cure.) Here’s the full quote:
TRUMP: So supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful, light — and I think you said that hasn’t been checked but you’re going to test it — and then I said suppose you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. And I think you said you’re going to test that, too. Sounds interesting.
Then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute. Is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside? Or almost a cleaning, ’cause you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it’d be interesting to check that. So you’re going to have to use medical doctors but it sounds interesting to me, so we’ll see but the whole concept of the light. The way it kills it in one minute, that’s pretty powerful.
It’s been an intense month for conspiracy theory and Trump has been doing what he does best– trucking along with it.
202.) April 17: As quarantine protests (filled with conspiracy theorists, 2nd Amendment activists, and anti-vaxxers) begin to happen in cities across the country, Trump tweets out “LIBERATE MINNESOTA!” “LIBERATE MICHIGAN!” and “LIBERATE VIRGINIA, and save your great 2nd Amendment. It is under siege!”
203- 214.) April 17: 11 retweets from Charlie Kirk, author of The MAGA Doctrine.
215.) April 18: Retweets an endorsement of Laura Loomer, a conspiracy theorist running for Congress in Florida. A future Tea’s Weird Week column will be talking about the campaigns of her and other conspiracy theorists.
216-222.) April 20: 7 retweets of Gregg Jarrett, author of The Russia Hoax and Witch Hunt.
223-224.) April 20: 2 retweets by Dawn Michael, a sex therapist and QAnon supporter.
225.) April 26: Retweets John Cardillo. I haven’t looked into who he is yet, but I think he tweet counts: “Three failed coup attempts: 1 – Russia Collusion hoax during campaign 2 – Mueller’s sham 3 – Illegitimate impeachment. Do you really think these lunatics wouldn’t inflate the mortality rates by underreporting the infection rates in an attempt to steal the election?”
226-227.) April 26: Bongino! Two retweets from InfoWars turned FOX talking head Dan Bongino.
228-230.) April 26-28: Three more from Gregg Jarrett.
231.) April 26: Retweets someone calling themselves “Joe Friday” that doesn’t seen to have “just the facts” with references in their twitter bio referencing “Spygate” and “Deepstate actors.”
232.) April 27: Trump cuts funds for EcoHealth Alliance after conspiracy theories circulates. Source:
“Trump cut funding for a group researching bat-to-humanvirus transmissions after unfounded conspiracy theories linked it to the Wuhan lab, report says,” Business Insider
234.) April 28: Retweets Tom Fitton of Judicial Watch.
235.) April 28: Ineitha Lynnette Hardaway and Herneitha Rochelle Richardson, aka Diamond & Silk, are two Trump loving sisters who developed a following during the 2016 campaign and quickly became Trump favorites, appearing at campaign rallies and White House appearances. They gained their own air time on FOX Nation, but apparently the platform has severed ties with the duo after their promotion of conspiracy. You know it’s got to be bad if FOX can’t hang with it, and it is. Daily Beast reports:
Among their many wild remarks about the virus, Diamond & Silk at different times suggested that COVID-19 was “engineered” possibly with “a little deep-state action;” that Bill Gates was pushing a vaccine as a means of population control; that 5G technology was being used to deliberately infect people; and that the death toll of the pandemic was being inflated.
Trump, of course, rushed to their defense. After the duo tweeted they were the victim of “haters,” Trump retweeted them and wrote “But I love Diamond & Silk, and so do millions of people!” Maybe they can find a job at InfoWars instead.
“‘I Love Diamond & Silk’: Trump backs Fox News personalities who spread coronavirus conspiracies,” Politico
236.) (backdate April 15): Trump appoints conspiracy theorist Michael Caputo to a top position in the Department of Health and Human Services. Caputo is an ally of Roger Stone, and has spread conspiracies about Ukraine, the Bidens, and George Soros. Before being hired he deleted thousands of tweets.
Source: “The US health department’s new communications chief is a Trump loyalist and Roger Stone associate who spread conspiracies about Ukraine and Hunter Biden,” Business Insider
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
It’s on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52486773-american-madness
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
Tea’s Weird Week: Ask Tea Anything (Pandemic Edition)
Tea’s Weird Week started as an outlet to write about whatever I wanted to once a week, engage readers, and promote stuff I’m working on– books, articles, events. In this year of crazy 2020, I’ve mostly been writing about “conspiracy theories in the news.” I have a book out in August titled American Madness: The Story of the Phantom Patriot and How Conspiracy Theories Hijacked American Consciousness and quite a few people I wrote about have big in 2020: Alex Jones (most recently for leading an anti-quarantine protest in Austin), David Icke (“5G is Coronavirus”), Roger Stone (“Bill Gates is Coronavirus”), QAnon, and Anti-vaxxers have all been in the news this month.
There are new conspiracy stories in the news every day, but I thought I would take a break from analyzing them this week and answer my friend’s questions, solicited through social media. Here’s answers about anti-quarantine protests, doomsday bunkers, cryptozoology, and more.
Real talk. I know you’re all about the absurd and crazy shit. I just gotta know because I care about you- are you planning on going to one of these wingnut anti-stay-at-home/ pro-plague rallies to document? Because, if so, please be safe friend. This is obviously not an encouragement to go be a journalist at one of those. I’m just saying, if you do, be safe as fuck. Also please live long enough to get your own Netflix special because I know you’re capable of that.–Concerned
First, thanks for caring about me. Your message has reminded me that I should be spending some of my spare time messaging people to check in.
Here’s the thing– I really enjoy writing about things that I am enjoy and am genuinely interested in. I have become friends with a lot of people I write about. But sometimes I like getting out of my comfort zone and want to observe something I don’t understand up close. Some examples of this would be attending one of Bob Larson’s “exorcism seminars” for my book Monster Hunters, attending an anti-vaxxer rally and flat earth conference for my book American Madness and most recently, attending a Trump rally (in January, I wrote it up for the Shepherd Express.)
I’m going to sit this one out. I’m processing enough crazy stuff as it is. Watching a bunch of MAGA-hat wearin,’ Gadsen flag wavin’, 2A militia types, anti-vaxxers, etc. shouting about how they demand haircuts just ain’t doing it for me. As far as a Netflix special– as long as I don’t end up getting eaten by a tiger, I’m in!
Joshua A. Bickel took this iconic photo, which is sure to be used in future texts about this era.
Any thoughts on those fallout type shelters/bunkers at the moment? Or if you know if people are using theirs in the face of pandemic? Just curious and interested in what qualifies those who own space in one to activate its use. –Aims
I think Aims is referring to the Survival Condos, which I toured with my friend Paul while working on a chapter (“Doomsday Bunkers of the Rich and Famous”) for my book Apocalypse Any Day Now. Built into an old Atlas missile silo in Kansas (with more being developed), the building featured several condo units (all sold) and recreation levels.
One thing we were told is that the condo owners had access whenever they wanted. There had recently been a football watching party, and owners would sometimes “vacation” there. As such, it’s possible that the owners could ride out the entire pandemic there if they wanted, and it certainly would be the ultimate quarantine.
Tea at the Luxury Survival Condos in Kansas.
What’s one conspiracy that most others find false; but, you kinda believe in?— Mando
I’m skeptical about most conspiracies, but I think it’s worth noting that some stuff that seems like conspiracy later turns out to be true. I talk about a few of those in American Madness, the CIA’s Project MK-ultra (a mind control program) being one one quick example. The most believable conspiracy to me is that there has been some kind of UFO cover-up. I don’t mean necessarily extra-terrestrial, but some secret program. There’s just so many compelling UFO cases, I think something is going on. The truth is out there (winking emoticon).
What was really normal, too normal, about one of your subjects that you researched?–Addo
I really love those moments. In my book Heroes in the Night I shared a funny story about how me and Real Life Superhero The Watchman got lost and couldn’t find his car in a parking garage. It was humorously mundane. A lot of Real Life Superheroes were pretty normal outside of their secret lifestyle, as were a lot of paranormal investigators.
One of the major stories I tell in American Madness is that of conspiracist Richard McCaslin. He told me some of the most wild ideas I’ve ever heard– Reptilian aliens secretly controlling our world, Satanists eating babies, all sorts of crazy and terrible things.
Meeting him in person several times, I found I got along with him pretty well and he was friendly and could be oddly normal. I visited him at his house and I remember walking into his kitchen to find him drinking orange juice and laughing as he watched some baby jackrabbits chase each other around his yard in what seemed like a game of tag. It was the first time he said “you gotta see this!” and wasn’t referring to some Illuminati code he had cracked.
Do you have a favorite cryptid?— Matt …and have you ever had a personal experience with one or saw one?— Lynn
If you don’t know, cryptids are creatures studied in cryptozoology. I’ve not had a cryptid encounter myself, but while working on Monster Hunters, I did go on expeditions looking for Sasquatch, a Lake Monster (“Champ” of Lake Champlain), a Skunk Ape, went to the Mothman Festival, and took a ride down Bray Road looking for the Beast. It was all really fun and interesting, I love cryptozoology. I’m working on a writing project about Mothman. I love ’em all, but because of this project, I’m going to declare Mothman as my favorite cryptid, a close second would be Chupacabras.
Me and Jim Sherman of Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization out in the woods of Michigan on the trail of the Sasquatch.
Would you want to have a really scary experience (alien abduction, possession, angry ghost) just to prove to yourself that it was real? What, if any, would be “too much”?— Judy
When faced with a tough question like this, I try to break it down. On the one hand, it would be pretty intensely transformative to have an experience like that, to witness a deep mystery of the universe. On the other hand, most people wouldn’t believe me anyway, and I know of several cases where people experienced stuff like this (or thought they did) and it damaged them forever. Final conclusion: I’d rather keep it a mystery. I enjoy not knowing.
Of all the people/things you interviewed or investigated was there any thing that you felt you were getting too deep into, or anything that you felt was getting too dangerous or did you fear for your life?— Gregory
The one things that stands out is the crazy night I spent on patrol with Real-Life Superhero Phoenix Jones while working on my book Heroes in the Night. He had pepper-sprayed a group of people that were fighting and they got angry and attacked us. I got punched in the face. At one point it looked like they were trying to get a gun. Then they tried to run us down with an SUV. “I hope this was worth it, cause now you’re going to get murdered,” was definitely a thought that crossed my mind as I was running from the angry, pepper-spray soaked mob. Other experiences– investigating Bobby Mackey’s, a notoriously haunted bar, and diving into some of the conspiracy stuff, has produced frightening moments, but nothing like that.
Thank you all for your questions! I’ll do another “ask me anything” to tie into the release of American Madness in late August or early September– pre-order info below!
Please Clap Dept.: I’ll leave you with some positive vibes– here’s an article I wrote for Milwaukee Magazine on a social distancing nightly dance party: “This Riverwest Neighborhood Dances Every Night at 8.”
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
It’s on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52486773-american-madness
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
Tea’s Weird Week Trivia: Round 2
The second round of Tea’s Weird Week Trivia happened this last Saturday. Congrats to Estephanie, Jessica, Tom, and Wendy who each won around.
I’ll be back this Saturday, April 11 with four more rounds– Jessica won the chance to pick a trivia topic and she chose “paranormal reality TV personalities” and other categories include some of my favorite topics– “art heists,” “music urban legends,” and “dystopian novel or 6 O’clock news?” Prizes will include books (authored by myself and others) and other weird swag. Tune in this Saturday, 5pm (central), on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/theTeaKrulos
Here’s the questions from last week if you didn’t get a chance to play. You can get a feel for the trivia and host your own trivia session with your roommate. Answer key is way at the bottom of the post. For this week, I am encouraging that trivia players send donations to the Cream City Hostel: paypal.me/creamcityhostel
Warm up Question:
Bob Dylan released his first new song in 8 years this week. The song is almost 17 minutes long and is about which event that is a major conspiracy theory topic?
A.) 9/11
B.) The time Trump said the sound of wind turbines cause cancer
C.) the JFK assassination
D.) George Washington’s induction as a Mason
Missing Persons
1.) In 1971 this man hijacked a Boeing 727 and parachuted out of it between Washington and Oregon with a ransom of $200,000. He disappeared into the night leaving only an alias behind. What was the alias he is commonly known as and a bonus point if you name the actual alias he left.
2.) In 1975 it’s believed that the mafia made union leader Jimmy Hoffa disappear. His body was never found. Who played Jimmy in the 1992 movie Hoffa and for a second point who played him in last year’s The Irishman?
3.) This rock n roll pioneer was believed to be missing or possibly dead for several days after Hurricane Katrina struck his hometown of New Orleans. He had actually been rescued by the Coast Guard and released an album the next year titled Alive and Kickin. He died in 2017.
4.) In a case that seemed to come out of their own novel, this mystery writer disappeared for about 11 days in 1926. Over ten thousand people and a team of bloodhounds searched and the writer was eventually discovered at a spa. Name the writer.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/11/books/agatha-christie-vanished-11-days-1926.html
5.) In 2017 a photo emerged that allegedly shows Amelia Earhardt alive and well sitting on a dock behind a group of people. Where was the photo taken?:
A. Easter Island
B. Tristan da Cunha
C. Eroda
D. Marshall Islands
Animal King, Dumb
1. The 2005 documentary Grizzly Man tells the story of Timothy Treadwell who decides to live among grizzly bears in Alaska. Spoiler: the bears end up viciously ripping him apart. Who was the director of this award winning documentary?
2. Herman Melville’s Moby Dick or, The Whale is the classic tale of Captain Ahab hellbent on killing a great white whale. The story is 206, 052 words long. What is the first 3-word sentence of the book?
3. We all know Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray, but there are about 220 species of stingrays. Which kind was it?
A. Giant oceanic Manta ray
B. Short-tail stingray
C. Blue spotted ray
D. Thorntail stingray
4.) In 2003 Vegas magic and entertainment duo Siegfried and Roy had their act cut short when a tiger named Mantecore attacked one of them, causing a severed spine among other injuries. But who was attacked– Siegfried or Roy?
Bonus point: the owner of the Mirage (where Siegfried and Roy performed) said the tiger was triggered by what hairdo on an audience member in the front row?
5.) Myah Autry was arrested for trespassing in 2019 after video circulated of her showing inside a lion exhibit, dancing and taunting the lion. Which zoo did that happen at?
A. Bronx Zoo
B. Greater Wynnewood Exotic Animal Park
C. Detroit Zoo
D. Lincoln Park Zoo
UFO Case Files
- In 1980 in Suffolk, England, several personnel reported seeing a UFO outside the Royal Air Force Woodbridge base, which at the time was operated by the US Air Force. One serviceman even claimed he touched it. The case is usually referred to as the BLANK Forest Incident for the woods where it occurred. What’s the name of the forest?
A. Notting Wood-on-Rye
B. Sherwood
C. Rendlesham
D. Beesington
- In 1997 hundreds of people saw a strange formation of lights cruising above Arizona, Nevada, and Mexico in a V shape. What are these sightings referred to?
- This couple claimed that they were abducted by extra-terrestrials from the Zeta Reticuli system in 1961 in New Hampshire, paving the way for many people who have claimed to be abductees. Need both names.
- Starting in late 2014, researchers claimed they had discovered some Kodachrome slides in an attic in Arizona which they believed showed an extra-terrestrial body from the Roswell, New Mexico UFO crash. After much anticipation the slides were released in 2015 and the image was quickly identified as being:
A.) A rubber alien prop from a 50s sci fi movie
B.) A Mummified body of a child from a museum display
C.) A Fiji mermaid taxidermy hoax from PT Barnum’s museum
D.) A surnburnt iguana
5. The former singer of this pop punk band has turned into an advocate for UFO disclosure. One point each for the singer’s name and the band. Blink 182
Xtreme Social Distancing
1. There’s some inconsistencies to this story, but the Internet commonly reports that a Hedviga Golik died in front of her TV in Croatia and was not found for how many years?
A. 1
B. 15
C. 23
D. 42
2. Estately.com did a study to determine the best cities to be an urban hermit based on things like internet speeds, food and alcohol delivery services, affordable housing, and percentage of people who work from home. What city was number one? 1 point top 5 and 2 points if number 1.
https://www.estately.com/blog/2016/10/the-best-u-s-cities-for-todays-urban-hermits/
3. In 2018 Missionary John Chau had fishermen drop him off at the remote North Sentinel Island off the coast of India. The fisherman only went so far because they knew the tribe was known for killing any outsiders. Chau took a kayak the rest of the way. He displayed a waterproof Bible to the tribe and how did they respond?
A. Told him he was too late, Jehovah’s Witnesses had already stopped by and converted them.
B.Revealed that a CD player with the original cast recording of Jesus Christ Superstar in it had washed ashore some years ago and burst into song
C. Shot the Bible with an arrow and later shot and killed Chau
4.) Valeri Polyakov has the record for the longest single stay in space, staying aboard the Mir space station for how long?
A. 103 days
B. 365 days
C. 437 days
D. 535 days
5.) This book and film tells the story of Christopher McCandless aka Alexander Supertramp who hiked through Alaska hoping to live off the land. His dead body was found in an abandoned bus in 1992. Name of the book/movie?
ANSWERS BELOW
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
Answers (click highlighted links for more reading material): Warm-up: C. JFK Assassination
Missing Persons: 1. D.B. Cooper/ Dan Cooper 2. Jack Nicholson/ Al Pacino 3. Fats Domino 4. Agatha Christie 5. D. Marshall Islands
Animal King, Dumb: 1. Werner Herzog 2. Call me Ishmael. 3. B. Short-tail stingray 4. Roy. Bonus: a beehive hairdo 5. A. Bronx Zoo
UFO Case Files: 1. C. Rendlesham 2. Phoenix Lights 3. Betty and Barney Hill 4. B. mummified child 5. Tom DeLonge, Blink-182
Xtreme Social Distancing: 1. D. 42 2. Top 5 (in order 1-5) Chicago, Austin, Washington DC, San Francisco, Denver 3.C. shot him 4. C. 437 days 5. Into the Wild
Tea’s Weird Week Trivia: Round 1
I had a fun first round of Tea’s Weird Week Trivia this last Saturday. Congrats to Sharon who was the overall winner and Estephanie who won the Cursed Objects round and picked out a category for this week– “Famous Missing Persons Cases.” Other rounds will include the man vs animal “Animal King, Dumb,” classic “UFO Files,” and stories about “Xtreme Social Distancing.” Prizes will include books (authored by myself and others) and other weird swag. This Saturday, 5pm (central), on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/theTeaKrulos
Here’s the questions from last week if you didn’t get a chance to play. You can get a feel for the trivia and host your own trivia session with your roommate. Answer key is way at the bottom of the post. For this week, I am encouraging that trivia players send donations/ shop at the International Cryptozoology Museum: www.cryptozoologymuseum.com
Special thanks to American Ghost Walks to providing tickets for a prize!
(You can see the video of the trivia session and see how people did here: https://www.facebook.com/theTeaKrulos/videos/511195046147212/)
Cryptozoology
1.) In the late 80s/ early 90s there were several sightings in Bishopville, South Carolina of a cryptid commonly called:
A. the Bishopville Dogma
B. the Bishopville Lizardman
C. the Bishopville Octopusman
D. the Bishopville Birdman
2.) A classic examination of cryptids is the 1970 book Strange Creatures Out of Time and Space. Who was the author?
3.) Where is the International Cryptozoology Museum located? City and state.
4.) This Australian animal was thought to have gone extinct after the last one died in captivity at the Hobart Zoo in 1936, however cryptozoologists believe it might still be alive. You can give the scientific or common name.
5). One of the big cryptozoology stories this month are pictures circulating that purportedly show a Sasquatch peeking into a couple’s mobile home. Scott Yeoman reports that the couple smelled something he described as a mix of “rotting animal flesh, vomit and excrement” before spotting the cryptid and snapping photos of it. Which state did this happen in? Picture in comments.
A. Colorado
B. Idaho
C. Washington
D. Wyoming
Conspiracy Theories in the News
1.) In a Tea’s Weird Week column last month, I reported that at least 24 people had launched 2020 campaigns for Congress that follow what conspiracy belief?
A. That Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer
B. QAnon
C. Flat Earth Theory
D. 9/11 Truthers
BONUS: Which two states have the most candidates?
2.) Alex Jones of InfoWars was issued a cease and desist by the New York attorney general for trying to sell what product he claimed would “kill the entire SARS-corona family at point blank range.” when used. Was it:
A. A hand cream
B. Toilet paper
C. Toothpaste
D. Condoms
3.) Pour one out for “Mad Mike” Hughes, a daredevil who died when he bailed out of his homemade rocket and his parachute malfunctioned on Feb.22 outside of Barstow. What conspiracy message was written on the side of his rocket?
A. Epstein didn’t kill himself
B. Birds don’t exist
C. Trump is a Reptilian
D. Research Flat Earth
4.) Last month Trump retweeted a publication that was founded by a Chinese American spiritual movement called the Falun Gong. The publication has endorsed QAnon and other conspiracies and through sockpuppet accounts spent over 9 million dollars on pro-Trump ads. What is the name of the publication?
5.) During a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans last month a float depicted Jeffrey Epstein being strangled by what politician?
Cursed and Possessed Items
1.) Murder, car accidents, gangrene, drug overdoses, and house fires, are just a few of the stories associated with this gem that is currenly on display at the Smithsonian National Museum of National History.
2.) This Raggedy Ann doll is supposedly possessed and was kept in a glass case by demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren. There’s a recent movie series based on the doll. What’s the name of the doll?
3.) The Curse of the Chicago Cubs supposedly was set in place in 1945 after a tavern owner was kicked out of Wrigley Field with his smelly pet. What type of animal was it?
A. An alligator
B. A skunk
C. A billy goat
D. A pig
4. A mass produced painting popular across England in the 1980s was said to be cursed. Supposedly a series of house fires left only the paintings behind. What did the painting feature?
A. A crying boy
B. A girl playing the violin
C. A child peeking out from a red door
D. A 3 toed sloth hang gliding with a portrait of Lee Harvey Oswald in its claws
5. Zak Bagans Haunted Museum in Las Vegas allegedly has a haunted or cursed mirror that belonged to which horror icon?
A. Stephen King
B. Edgar Allan Poe
C. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
D. Vincent Price
E. Bela Lugosi
Epic Social Distancing Champions of History
1.) This actress known as the “Swedish Sphinx” who once said in a movie “I vant to be alone” retired in 1941 at age 36. She refused to do autographs, interviews, award shows, or fan mail and lived alone in Manhattan.
2.) In the 1970s this musician mostly stayed at home in bed getting high and recording music known as the “Bedroom Tapes.” Though he would sometimes be spotted at night at LA clubs in his robe and slippers.
3.) This writer had a famous novel published in 1951. After his last story was published in 1965 in the New Yorker the already reclusive author secluded himself in a cottage in New Hampshire.
4.) After forfeiting his world champion title in 1975, this chess player became reclusive, disappearing from the public for long periods of time until he died in 2008 in Iceland.
5.) Tristan da Cunha most remote populated place in the world, over 1300 miles from their nearest populated neighbor, located between south america and africa. A mail ship stops by only once a year. 2019 estimated population was:
A. 99
B. 3
C. 246
D. 500
Answers below!
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
ANSWERS (click on highlighted answers to see more!)
Cryptozoology: 1. B. Bishopville Lizardman 2. John Keel 3. Portland, Maine 4. Thylacine or Tasmanian Tiger 5. A. Colorado
Conspiracy Theories in the News: 1. B.QAnon, BONUS: California and Florida 2. C. Toothpaste 3. D. Research Flat Earth 4. The Epoch Times 5. Hillary Clinton
Cursed or Possessed Items: 1. the Hope Diamond 2. Annabelle 3. C. billy goat 4. A. a crying boy 5. E. Bela Lugosi
Epic Social Distancing Champions of History: 1. Greta Garbo 2. Brian Wilson 3. J.D. Salinger 4. Bobby Fischer 5. C. 246
Tea’s Weird Week: Notes from the Quarantine Journal
UPDATE, April 4: The Wisconsin Historical Society is “collecting history as it happens” with their COVID-19 Journal Project. They compare it to the WHS’s project in 1861, where Civil War soldiers were asked to keep diaries. 150 years later, those journals are still being used to understand history. By signing up for this program, you are not only giving yourself an outlet for your thoughts, but you are contributing to something that future generations can learn from. Your story is important and the WHS is open to written, audio, visual, or artistic documentation. You can find more info and sign up here: https://wisconsinhistory.org/JOURNALPROJECT
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I tried to do a Tea’s Weird Week livestream. It started alright, I talked about my book Apocalypse Any Day Now, but then I was hit with this wave of doubt and angst– who am I to give any kind of advice? and I struggled to say anything other than “gee I sure hope you are all ok out there.” The only thing helpful I think I offered was talking about my quarantine journal or, as I’ve crudely titled it, my “Plague Diary.” It’s been helpful for me and it might be helpful for you.
I found an old notebook and every day I’ve been handwriting some notes. I’ve not been overthinking it– emotions, observations, weird dreams, what I’m reading, watching, doing. I chose to handwrite it because I like the organic look of it– crossed out words, doodles in the corners of the pages. When you have to handwrite instead of letting words fly on a keyboard, you’re choosing more deliberately what you share. It’s also cathartic to scratch out some words pen to paper. But you might journal better on a blog or word doc.
If writing isn’t a way you express yourself, I hope you’re channeling some energy into something you like– music, art, organizing. I know it’s difficult to be creative under financial and other stresses, but try to turn off the news, get off social media, and try to do something that stimulates creation a little bit every day.
I’m not going to share the whole thing, but here’s some excerpts from the first 10 days of my journal.
Friday, March 13 (first entry): National emergency declared. Everything is closing down now, RE: coronavirus, COVID-19. The plague is upon us. Worse than the illness is how people will react– they are panicked, scared. Hyper masses have flooded every store, grabbing as much toliet paper, hand sanitizer, and water bottles as they can carry, leaving the store shelves empty.
Sunday, March 15: Just drank and watched TV.
Monday, March 16: I had a vivid dream last night. My granddad was still alive and I went to visit him. He had a group of elderly friends sitting around his kitchen table (where he always sat) with him. They were having a quarantine party. I had never seen any of the other seniors before. One of them, sitting next to grandpa, was a frail woman with an oxygen tank. Grandpa, usually a big, jolly guy, looked very thin. All of them were happy to see me. Grandpa asked if I wanted to sing “Folsom Prison Blues” with them. I said “sure!” and we all sang. That’s all I remember.
Tuesday, March 17: St. Patrick’s Day– one of the biggest day for bars– and everything is shut down. I pitched and wrote an article for the Shepherd “How local businesses are weathering COVID-19 and ways you can help” but there’s a feeling of hopelessness– this article won’t help anyone one iota, but I need to do something and this is all I can think of at the moment.
Thursday, March 19: Crabby, irritated, sad, frustrated today. Not accomplishing shit. Being lazy in pajamas makes me feel shitty but so does doing anything like household chores. Face it– you lost today.
Saturday, March 21: Well, all of this has made a supply run exciting. Me and Kate cruised to Home Depot, Krispy Kreme Donuts, Target (see above photo of the empty toilet paper aisle), and the liquor store. Now eating tons of food.
Monday, March 23: Gov. Evers is issuing a “Safer at Home” edict telling everyone not involved in “non-essential” business-like groceries, pharmacies, etc., to keep their ass at home. We’re all locked down now to slow the spread of COVID-19. I took a walk to Outpost to look for toilet paper and get a couple things for Kate, but they were out of TP and the bulk section was closed off, so I left empty-handed and felt like a failed hunter-gatherer. But we are ok on food, TP, and sanity right now…
—
I’m going to try the livestream thing again with some trivia this Saturday. The categories are cryptozoology, conspiracy theories in the news (based on reports from Tea’s Weird Week over the last two months), cursed or possessed items, and a surprise category. Prizes will include copies of my books and other weird stuff I find in my office.
Tune in here: www.facebook.com/TheTeaKrulos
The #TrumpConspiracyCounter shoots up to 174. I tally it and talk about Trump’s “Deep State Department” theory here: https://teakrulos.com/2020/03/25/trumpconspiracycounter-march-25/
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“Having just returned from the grocery store during an official pandemic, I’m reminded to highly recommend Apocalypse Any Day Now, from Tea Krulos, who went way down the doomsday prepper rabbit hole. Fun and unfortunately highly relevant. Do it.” — Brent Gohde, Cedar Block/ Science Strikes Back
Tea’s Weird Week: Laughing My Ass Off at These Bonkers Trump Paintings
Art by J.Jason Groschopf!
“Art is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone will have their own interpretation.” — E.A. Bucchianeri
“When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy, you can do anything.”– Donald Trump
I’m not sure how I stumbled on the works of Jon McNaughton, a painter from Utah who specializes in “highly detailed religious and patriotic subjects.” His bio also says that “there are three kinds of people who view my paintings: those who like it, those who hate it, and those who simply don’t understand.”
Boy howdy, McNaughton, I’m definitely 2 out of 3! I see Trump as everything bad in America– a greedy 2-bit con man who instills fear and paranoia instead of hope, all 7 deadly sins rolled into one foul, bloviating persona. McNaughton’s take, you’ll see, is a little different. But first, let’s dive in take a look at one of McNaughton’s pre-Trump era pieces:
This painting, “The Forgotten Man,” was completed in 2010. It’s a Rembrandt of nuttiness. Here we see that McNaughton’s poor “forgotten man” is not a black person sent to prison for life for smoking weed or stealing $9, or a refugee thrown into a border concentration camp, but your average white dude slumped sadly on a park bench. A stern-looking President Obama has his arms folded and is ignoring him. The U.S. Constitution is pinned under Obama’s shoe like yesterday’s news. Also gathered around the poor guy, hashing out his plight: every president ever. Here’s what they’re saying:
James Madison: “Dude, seriously?! You’re stepping on it? Do you know how much time I spent writing that thing?! It’s like, over 200 years old!”
Abe: “Hey! Hey buddy, turn around! What’s your problem, man?!”
Clinton and the Roosevelts: clap clap clap, “bravo, bravo, Obama.”
Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson: “I’m also pointing.” (oddly subdued– you’d think he’d be the first one to throw a punch.)
JFK: “Hey aaaa, look ovah there, they elected aaaa black guy for the aaa presidency!”
W: “Wait a minute, are you sure I’m not supposed to be over there by Washington and Kennedy?”
Old Mother Reagan: “Where am I? Why are we gesturing at this guy?”
Based on the old chestnut that you can “give a man a fish, and you feed him a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him a lifetime,” this work, “Teach a Man to Fish” is a hilariously failed metaphor. Here we see another poor white dude who has put down his books about socialism and is saying “duhhh, what are these things?” while benevolent Trump shows him how to tie a lure in a tranquil forest. Here’s the thing, I don’t think “patient teacher” springs to mind when describing Trump. I’m also guessing he doesn’t know how to fish. Do you think young Trump sat on a pier attaching a squirming nightcrawler on a hook? If he ever has been out to fish, he probably paid someone to set up the rod for him, much like Don Jr. pays someone to drop him in an enclosed area so he can trophy hunt endangered animals.
I think a more accurate metaphor would be Trump running away from an angry fisherman (with an unpaid bill in his hand) with a flopping fish in between his teeth, like Yogi Bear stealing a picnic basket.
This painting, “Crossing the Swamp,” (a parody of “Washington Crossing the Delaware” by Emanuel Leutze) shows the danger in trying to create any depiction of the Trump administration as a coherent team. Of those featured here, almost half the crew has walked the plank: Nikki Haley (resigned), James “Mad Dog” Mattis (resigned, Trump says he fired him), Jeff Sessions (forced to resign), Sarah Sanders (resigned), John Bolton (HA! resigned, Trump says he fired him) and John Kelly (forced to resign). Trump better hope that Ben Carson and Ivanka can navigate that thing.
“Expose the Truth”: Trump: “C’mere you lyin,’ crooked FBI man! Let me grab you by the fucking tie and get a good look at you! A real good look, with my magnifying glass!”
This “Modern-day Paul Revere” is supposed to be obnoxious FOX News personality Sean Hannity, the top dawg at the station after Bill O’Reilly was fired (6 sexual harassment cases totaling $50 million finally did it). Instead of riding town to town to warn of the British invasion, you’ll hear Hannity call out things like:
“Halloween is a liberal holiday because we’re teaching our children to beg for something for free!” and “I define peace as the ability to defend yourself and blow your enemies into smithereens!”
This is McNaughton’s latest, “You Are Fake News.” For more on Trump’s clown problem, see my column HERE.
Wheeeew! Final thoughts:
Conspiracy News Dept.: Flat Earther and homemade rocket pilot “Mad Mike” Hughes died after a malfunction with his parachute as he attempted flight on Feb.22 outside of Barstow. An upcoming show, Homemade Astronauts was at the launch to shoot footage.
Meanwhile, during Mardi Gras, an “Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself theory” float depicting Hillary Clinton strangling the deceased sex predator rolled down St. Charles Avenue while a group of dancers– “the Swingin’ Epsteins”– danced in grey wigs, prison jumpsuits, and bedsheet nooses around their necks.
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
Follow me on:
Facebook//Twitter//Instagram//YouTube
“This chatty, fast-paced volume will entertain those who enjoy reading about unusual subcultures.”– Publishers Weekly (on Apocalypse Any Day Now)
The#TrumpConspiracyCounter just passed 100. I’m skipping analysis until next week, where I’ll discuss what we’ve seen so far.
Tea’s Weird Week: Doomer Fatigue, I Got It
Let’s review this long, long year of 2020 so far. It feels like Biblical plagues are sweeping the earth. In less than two months we’ve seen wildfires destroy Australia, the Doomsday Clock tick forward to 100 seconds to midnight, Antarctica heated up to 65(F) degrees (the warmest on record), a deadly outbreak of coronavirus (and a wave of racism, paranoia, and conspiracy to go along with the real threat) and a plague of locusts in Somalia.
Here at home in the US of A, where to even begin, seriously? I’m about one headline away from getting into Mad Max gear and running down the street with a bug-out bag yelling “THE END IS NIGH!”
Maybe this is all for the best in the long run. A new book titled The Ahuman Manifesto: Activism for the End of the Anthropocene by Professor Patricia MacCormack of Cambridge. It apparently makes the argument that the only way to save the planet is for a mass extinction to happen. That’s an oversimplification, I know– I haven’t read the book, but it’s on the old reading list. I’m interested to read it, but can I handle it?
I think I know what I got a case of.
While I was working on my book Apocalypse Any Day Now, I learned about an ailment one prepper author called “doomer fatigue.” It’s a stressful depression you feel when you burn yourself out thinking about how incredibly screwed the world is. As I worked on the book, I researched ideas about the world ending, from the ridiculous to the frighteningly plausible. It was tiring. When I did interviews for the book, I sometimes joked I was going to cleanse the palate after the book was done by reading nothing but Hello Kitty. Haw haw, Tea Krulos sipping merlot, soaking up some kawaii! Good joke. Everybody laugh.
I know there is still hope. I think I’ll shake this doomer fatigue off. Usually going for a walk, some good music, and a dose of Vitamin C helps. Maybe I’ll pick up that Hello Kitty comic I was talking about.
Please Clap Dept.: Speaking of Apocalypse Any Day Now, author Linda S. Godfrey wrote about it in a post about books and bookmarks here: lindagodfrey.com/2020/02/17/mark-my-words-5-books-i-love-and-finding-the-good-parts
I have a new YouTube channel for my upcoming book, American Madness. Please subscribe here: www.youtube.com/channel/UCoFCwzjjghaVXSWUwEZx27g/playlists
My upcoming book American Madness features a journey through conspiracy culture, including QAnon. It’s out August 25, 2020 from Feral House. To pre-order: CLICK HERE
Follow me on:
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“For some reason, though some of his observations are alarming, whenever I read Tea’s work I feel better because of his level-headed reportage and humor.” –Lee Gutowski, editor, Riverwest Currents
What a week for the Trump Crime Family! Trump grants clemency to fellow Hair Club member Blago (who announces he is now a “Trumpocrat”), tells Rush Limbaugh to “never apologize” for his homophobic comments, and his former adviser, 7-time felon conspiracy theorist Roger Stone, got sentenced today to 3 years, 4 months in prison, less than half of the Department of Justice’s 7-9 year recommendation. Meanwhile, we’re still keeping track of every time Trump retweets or promotes a conspiracy theory, theorist, or media outlet.
83.) Feb.10: Sometimes it’s hard to tell if something is the promotion of a conspiracy or just a straight-up lie. At a rally in New Hampshire, Trump tells the crowd he lost the state because “hundreds of buses from Massachusetts” were sent in full of people committing voter fraud. There’s no evidence of mass voter fraud in the 2016 election.
Source: “Trump Baselessly Claims He Lost New Hampshire in 2016 Due to ‘Hundreds of Buses’ From Massachusetts,” Talking Points Memo
84.) Feb.13: Trump on former advisor and conspiracy theorist Roger Stone: “significant bias at the ‘Justice’ Department,” quote marks his.
85-96.) Feb.19: An 11 streak tweetstorm retweeting posts by Tom Fitton and his organization Judicial Watch including ones where he talks about “draining the Deep State,” the Spygate theory, and talks about Roger Stone’s “miscarriage of justice.”
That’s all the analysis I got for today. Like I said, doomer fatigue.
For a frightening read on the upcoming tidal wave of misinformation, lies, fearmongering, and conspiracy theory in the 2020 campaign, I recommend: “The Billion Dollar Misinformation Campaign to Reelect the President,” McKay Coppins, The Atlantic.
The #TrumpConspiracyCounter is on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TrumpConspirac3
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